Pinterest: Why your "Wedding Board" is messing up your relationship...

...your relationship with Christ, that is.

I'm sorry, gents. This post may not relate to you very well. Just a warning to you ladies, I'm sure this post will offend quite a few of you. I've got one thing I want to say, then hopefully I can explain it in a way that will encourage you to change your thinking on the matter.

For goodness' sake, go delete your wedding board(s) on Pinterest. Do it now.

Unless you have a ring on your finger, or the promise of one in the near future, stop planning your future wedding.

I know--I know. You see the perfect dress, the cutest engagement pictures, and don't even get me started on those beautiful rings and ideas for your reception. You want to make sure that someday, when you get married, you'll have all of those ideas stored, organized, and color coded so you can access them the second your man proposes. It seems harmless, right?

I will try my best to be polite, but in a word...no.

The first problem with this is that you are, to some degree, exerting effort and mental capacity to planning a wedding that may or may not actually happen. You are spending time thinking about coordinating colors, seating charts, flower arrangements, and wedding dresses. Are these bad things? Absolutely not! But who are we kidding? You'll tell yourself that you're "not planning it with anyone specific in mind," even though you're in a committed relationship. Or if you're single, you'll tell yourself "I'm just waiting for 'the one' and when he decides to show up, fall in love with me, and propose, I'll be ready and save myself time by planning it all now. All I really need is a groom!". Or my favorite, "When God brings me the right man, I just want to make sure I can serve him as his future wife by planning ahead!"

Nice try, but I speak from personal experience. I promise your ideas are super cute, lots of fun, and that should you ever have a wedding of your own, you will be the most beautiful bride on that day and all eyes will be on you! The truth is, the problems don't arise because you like a trumpet versus a ballgown wedding dress, or because you prefer sunflowers to roses. The entire premise that you're going to get married at all is not a guarantee. The idea of waiting on the right man to come along is, in itself, flawed.

If you are a Christ-loving, Bible-reading woman of the Lord--please tell me what exactly you are waiting for that you don't already have. It breaks my heart to see Godly women pining after the idea of a future husband. Your Creator loves you so much, and any man in your life is (or should be) automatically competing for the number two place in your heart. Our Savior clinched first prize when He died for you on a cross and hand-fashioned your heart to reflect His love. If you decide that you're waiting on a husband to the extent that you're exploring wedding options on a daily or weekly basis, that's a strong indicator that something in your heart is longing for someone other than your Savior in a BIG way. It becomes far too easy to idolize the idea of marriage instead of loving the God who created the union to begin with.

Will you end up married someday? There's no guarantee. Maybe God is preparing you for a husband, but maybe not. Make no mistake; He is certainly preparing you for something great! It's just not set in stone that this "something great" will include a husband. If your idea of following after the Lord's plan for your life automatically includes a husband, I so strongly encourage you to spend some quiet time with the Lord searching your heart to find out why that desire is there. If God has placed it on your heart to be a wife and mother as a calling, Praise the Lord for His clarity! If you need to pray through it, then please do so. Honestly, we have to reconcile ourselves that we are called to serve our brothers in Christ in love and as women we are so uniquely able to do so. We are called to be Godly women who find full satisfaction in the Lord before He can ever prepare us to be a Godly wife and mother. If God's plan for you doesn't include a Mr. Right, does that make you bitter? Would you still follow after His plan with all your heart?

I know this seems like it's making a huge deal over nothing, but the constant thinking about weddings and far-off days of planning one of your own can set you up for such heartache. I don't wish any broken relationships on anyone, but without knowing it, we can so easily idolize marriage and make it the assumed future for our current relationships. Again, it's a personal conviction of mine and I would encourage you to spend time in prayer about it.

I will, however, challenge you. Delete your wedding boards on Pinterest and spend your time doing something else. Write notes of encouragement to your friends, read your Bible, do homework...anything but failing to guard your heart by trying to plan a wedding with a fill-in-the-blank spot for a groom. When your desire for a wedding becomes greater than the desire for a Christ-centered marriage, which is stronger than your desire for Christ Himself; you'll fill that blank in with anyone who's willing.

As your sister in Christ, I DO love you and want nothing but the best for you. Please know that I am not against Pinterest at all, and you bet I spend too much time on it! I love the beautiful gift of marriage and the commitment it embodies. I love dresses and flowers and pretty things that people do at weddings. My heart and prayer is that you will be fully content in God's love and desire nothing but to serve Him here and now, as a single or coupled up, strong woman of the Lord.

Waiting on a man? Ain't nobody got time for that.

Proverbs 4:23 Above all else, guard your heart; for it is the wellspring of LIFE.