It almost doesn't need to be said--but I'm going to spell this all out regardless. Africa. Leaving. Serving. My team. It's all slowly becoming more real and more definite. Every time I pray, it gets more specific.
My team members have names, stories, and lives of their own they are putting on pause to journey to another world. The dates and times are getting more specific, too. Be here at this time; we'll be training here and then flying out of there. I can almost, almost see it. My feet will be on African soil in no time at all. And for all the anticipation, all the prayer, and the time spent in joy and preparation--what's next? What happens when we get there?
I only have more questions the more I think and pray...and think, and pray...
It's like I could pray for days. I want to be prepared, spiritually, to pour out to others. I want to build real relationships with members of the community. With women. With children. With widows. And orphans. And people who don't know the love of Christ. I don't think I'll be standing on any street corners proclaiming the Gospel. But I know that seeds will be planted. Lives will be changed. My heart will break for these people; and God will bring them healing. My eyes will be opened to the incredible poverty and extreme situations that are commonplace in these countries, and I'll be frustrated with the way I live my life here. There are things I'm guaranteed to experience; there are things I would never be able to hope or pray for that the Lord will show us as we spend time serving Him. Anything can happen. Anything.
My prayer is that our team would be a raging fire for the Lord. Not a dim light, not a flicker of a candle. A raging, burning fire with a passion for the Lord that stirs things up. A presence of love and humility that God will use to destroy footholds, lies, and temptations of the enemy. A team entirely devoted to prayer and community, walking in the Spirit to take every opportunity to love others and to share the hope we have in Him.
It feels like I'm getting restless--but in a way, I think I always have been. At least a small part of me has always known that a quiet, comfortable life just doesn't quite line up with my heart and passion. It's almost time to take off on this adventure, but for now, I have to remind myself that I have a purpose to serve here. Please pray with me, that I will be focused to serve whole heartedly here until it's time for me to leave.
I have raised 40% of the money I need thus far. Praise the Lord. These donations have been prayerfully given, heartfelt, and incredibly humbling. I can't help but look at the names of those who have given and be thankful for their willing hearts. My next milestone is in 2 weeks, and I need $900 by then. My prayer is that the Lord will use this for His glory. Will you join in this prayer with me? Will you pray for my team, as they also go through the various challenges of fundraising?
To give:
http://www.experiencemission.org/Display.asp?Page=donatelanding
UserID: CMOR1002
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Sunday, March 3, 2013
Spoiled Brat; a change in thinking.
It’s not about the money…but…isn’t it?
Come on, Lord. $6,000 is NOTHING compared to burning bushes
and chariots of fire and angel armies appearing from heaven. I know that You
will provide, but when? A month before? A week before? The last day that money
can possibly be submitted? Wouldn’t it just be better for everyone if they
money came in…right…about…now?
Well, for His purposes; it is actually better for me that the money come in…later. I don’t know when. I don’t know how. I’m not there yet, though. Wherever I need to be in order to not feel the need for this money to come in NOW, I’ve got a ways to go before I get there. And until then, it’s me and Him. Every day. Working towards peace and joy and not holding onto this selfish impatience.
Well, for His purposes; it is actually better for me that the money come in…later. I don’t know when. I don’t know how. I’m not there yet, though. Wherever I need to be in order to not feel the need for this money to come in NOW, I’ve got a ways to go before I get there. And until then, it’s me and Him. Every day. Working towards peace and joy and not holding onto this selfish impatience.
I’ll be entirely honest with you all today. I feel like a spoiled
brat. Oh, yeah. I haven’t used that phrase in ages…but it’s exactly what I felt
like in prayer earlier. There are bigger problems in the World. Greater needs.
People that don’t have food or shoes or clothes, people who lost loved ones and
buddies, people in need of so much. And here I am, complaining because I haven’t
raised $10,000 yet.
I heard an awesome story about the Lord providing for
someone else’s trip today. My first reaction? GOD IS SO GOOD! My second? Okay, so where is my miracle? When
does my cash start rolling in? I KNOW...awful. Just awful...like I said, spoiled brat. Total mess. But, a mess
that is redeemed and loved. A work in progress. A sinner saved by grace,
through faith. I ask that you pray pray pray pray pray. Pray. Pray. Pray. Pray.
And. Pray. Please.
"I hear the Savior say, thy strength indeed is small. Child of weakness, watch and pray. Find in Me, thine all in all".
BOOM. It hit me. Find in HIM my all. My everything. In my selfish desire to have the security of money in my missions account; I am literally trying to rob God of doing a miraculous work. Isn't that what I've been PRAYING to see?! Isn't that on my heart, to see our GOD of wonders do incredible things? Isn't this exactly what I signed on for? Life with HIM is crazy. Unexpected. Doesn't make sense to the outside world. Doesn't follow a set plan, path, or timeline. THIS is what HE put on my heart to desire; an adventure. Forget the "you are beautiful" and "you're a princess" pep talks. GOD made my heart for more than this. For more than the superficial. For something new and different and just plan NUTS. That's what living for Him is all about.
Maybe instead of praying that the Lord would hurry up with bringing the money in, I should be praying that HE will use my fundraising to get people's attention. To prove without a shadow of a doubt that HE IS ALIVE AND LIVING IN ME! Can you imagine how incredible it would be to raise the whole $6,000 in a DAY, at the last minute? Can you imagine how much potential that has to show others the power and love and faithfulness of our God? He can use this ALL for His glory and to reach others...before I ever even get on the plane. I've been saying that mission work doesn't start when I get to Africa, maybe it's time I start living that out.
"I hear the Savior say, thy strength indeed is small. Child of weakness, watch and pray. Find in Me, thine all in all".
BOOM. It hit me. Find in HIM my all. My everything. In my selfish desire to have the security of money in my missions account; I am literally trying to rob God of doing a miraculous work. Isn't that what I've been PRAYING to see?! Isn't that on my heart, to see our GOD of wonders do incredible things? Isn't this exactly what I signed on for? Life with HIM is crazy. Unexpected. Doesn't make sense to the outside world. Doesn't follow a set plan, path, or timeline. THIS is what HE put on my heart to desire; an adventure. Forget the "you are beautiful" and "you're a princess" pep talks. GOD made my heart for more than this. For more than the superficial. For something new and different and just plan NUTS. That's what living for Him is all about.
Maybe instead of praying that the Lord would hurry up with bringing the money in, I should be praying that HE will use my fundraising to get people's attention. To prove without a shadow of a doubt that HE IS ALIVE AND LIVING IN ME! Can you imagine how incredible it would be to raise the whole $6,000 in a DAY, at the last minute? Can you imagine how much potential that has to show others the power and love and faithfulness of our God? He can use this ALL for His glory and to reach others...before I ever even get on the plane. I've been saying that mission work doesn't start when I get to Africa, maybe it's time I start living that out.
I’m in need of some intervention of the Divine nature.
$6,000 in 95 days..a little over $60 for every day. If you would be so kind as to share in this journey with me,
I can’t meet this goal on my own. I believe that the Lord works through
communities and the fellowship we have with each other. I am praying daily that
the Lord will provide on HIS time. Not mine. Not mine. Not mine. Yeah, I have
to repeat it. I have to get it in my head (and heart) that this is not up to me
or my impatience. I can’t just stomp my foot and get what I want, when I want
it. By HIS grace and in HIS timing, this money will come through.
Can you believe that with me?
Can you believe that with me?
Phil. 1:6 "...being confident in this, that He, who began a good work in you, will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus..."
Friday, March 1, 2013
33.3%
Hey All,
Today is a wonderful day! I am at the 1/3 mark for my funding! God is SO GOOD. I also have the opportunity to get to know my teammates! We are finally in contact via facebook and I can't tell you how excited I am to meet the people that I'll be serving the Lord with for six months. We can get to know each other and be in prayer for each other as we prepare to start our journey. With all that God has been showing me about fellowship and community recently, I am so thrilled that we can come together ahead of time and begin that process.
So, I know that my blogs tend to be about a variety of topics, and more recently, about human trafficking. On a serious note, I do actually need to raise money for my trip. I go back and forth between not worrying at all...and spazzing out entirely. I worry that maybe I'm not asking enough people, not asking the right way, or maybe everyone I know is just really struggling financially. I knew, going into this, that raising the money would be a challenge for me. Not for my God, but for me. I've prayed that God would bring the money in on HIS timing, not mine. But dang am I feeling the pressure. I am definitely feeling like I should have more at this point. I've even felt surprised or offended at the people who haven't given. That's terrible, trust me, I know. I had so many expectations going into the fundraising process--that would be mistake number one. I found myself asking God to take away the worry and the doubt about the funding, and by His grace, He did. This past couple of weeks I stopped checking, stopped looking, stopped spamming everyone with reminders that I still need money. It's such a weird feeling to ask people to help you raise almost $10,000. Even weirder to know that I don't have that much by a long shot.
I am 1/3 of the way funded. The donations I've received have been so wonderful and heartfelt, and I know that I'm covered in prayer and support. I humbly ask that you continue to pray for me and for the funding process. If you feel lead to give, please do. I still need to raise $150 more in the next week to meet the milestone requirement. And, in the big picture, I still need $6,000 in the next 97 days. I'll be honest, that number is so intimidating. Our God is always, always faithful to make things beautiful in HIS timing.
http://www.experiencemission.org/Display.asp?Page=donatelanding
UserID: CMOR1002
Today is a wonderful day! I am at the 1/3 mark for my funding! God is SO GOOD. I also have the opportunity to get to know my teammates! We are finally in contact via facebook and I can't tell you how excited I am to meet the people that I'll be serving the Lord with for six months. We can get to know each other and be in prayer for each other as we prepare to start our journey. With all that God has been showing me about fellowship and community recently, I am so thrilled that we can come together ahead of time and begin that process.
So, I know that my blogs tend to be about a variety of topics, and more recently, about human trafficking. On a serious note, I do actually need to raise money for my trip. I go back and forth between not worrying at all...and spazzing out entirely. I worry that maybe I'm not asking enough people, not asking the right way, or maybe everyone I know is just really struggling financially. I knew, going into this, that raising the money would be a challenge for me. Not for my God, but for me. I've prayed that God would bring the money in on HIS timing, not mine. But dang am I feeling the pressure. I am definitely feeling like I should have more at this point. I've even felt surprised or offended at the people who haven't given. That's terrible, trust me, I know. I had so many expectations going into the fundraising process--that would be mistake number one. I found myself asking God to take away the worry and the doubt about the funding, and by His grace, He did. This past couple of weeks I stopped checking, stopped looking, stopped spamming everyone with reminders that I still need money. It's such a weird feeling to ask people to help you raise almost $10,000. Even weirder to know that I don't have that much by a long shot.
I am 1/3 of the way funded. The donations I've received have been so wonderful and heartfelt, and I know that I'm covered in prayer and support. I humbly ask that you continue to pray for me and for the funding process. If you feel lead to give, please do. I still need to raise $150 more in the next week to meet the milestone requirement. And, in the big picture, I still need $6,000 in the next 97 days. I'll be honest, that number is so intimidating. Our God is always, always faithful to make things beautiful in HIS timing.
http://www.experiencemission.org/Display.asp?Page=donatelanding
UserID: CMOR1002
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