"She has a name, she is somebody's daughter. She was made in the Image of our King...but she's a slave, held captive in chains. In Jesus' name, we have got to do something...Only YOU can set them free, but make us part of the solution"
--Donna Stuart, Part of the Solution
I was hit pretty square in the face with a humbling reminder this past weekend.
That is, God doesn't need me to go to Africa. God doesn't need me to minister. God doesn't actually need any of us to do anything. He is the all-powerful Author and Perfecter of our faith. He literally breathed our stars into being. He speaks through burning bushes, pillars of fire, and can flood the Earth with a simple thought. He does not need me to go to Africa to share His love. He can change hearts and divinely intervene in ways that I can't even imagine. But, by His grace, He uses those who are willing.
Whenever you look into the World, your society, or your neighborhood--whatever you see that breaks your heart and calls you to action; He is the solution. We are able to play a part in His story because He, by His grace, uses us. He is willing to send us out into the battle with the knowledge that He will win the victory for us.
Sounds incredible, right? The speaker last weekend (at a conference I attended) gave the example of feeling like a warrior princess. If you know me very well, you know that THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT! Warrior Princess? Fighting for Jesus? Doin' work to destroy the enemy? Yeah. That's right up my alley. That gets me pumped up to go share His love, praying for and claiming victory over the strongholds of the enemy, praising the Lord for the work He has done and will do, and feeling like a million bucks because God in His infinite grace is going to let me play a part in doing His work! Well...at least....I think He is...? He is...isn't He? He'll send me out to some great calling...right?
Oh, well. You see...here is what I learned/am learning/will continue to learn. God's calling for my life doesn't start on July 7th, and doesn't end December 21st. Doing His will is not a futuristic project to be done during a set time period. Ministry doesn't start when you break ground on a building or hand out your first Bible to someone on the street. It happens now. It's where you are today, what you do today, and how you use the time you have to glorify Him. I think we get so caught up in waiting for that one "magic thing" that will REALLY be ministry.
I was reminded that we have to serve whole-heartedly where and when we are. As in here and now. In order to do that, we have to know Him. I mean really, know Him. If you've read any of my past several posts, I'm sure you can pick up on some of the things that have really been pushing on my heart about ministry with women in sex trafficking. Do I feel like that is something God has placed on my heart? ABSOLUTELY! Do I need to run off to another country right this second to go all vigilante, rescuing women out of captivity? Well, no... though the idea may have crossed my mind!
There will be a time when I need to act on these convictions. But now, He's called me to finish school and to serve as a chaplain where I am. He's called me to go to Africa, to strip down my heart to the basics in preparation for what He has next and to share His love with those in need. So though I may be stirred and moved and passionate to act on what I believe, if I really want to be useful right now, the best thing I can do is pray. Pray, pray, pray.
The analogy given at the end of this conference was that of a flaming arrow. With God as our archer, we are meant to wait in His quiver until the time is right. Our hearts are broken; set ablaze with conviction and passion, we are pulled backwards until we can't stand the strain any longer--then, just before our breaking point, we are sent to our target to do maximum destruction to the kingdom of darkness.
So, until that time is here...I wait. Wait and pray. I pray that my desires will become His desires, and that I can be faithful in prayer for the things He's put on my heart. I pray that I seek Him above all else and that His love would pour out of my life. The things we do by our own effort are temporary; the things He does through us by His love are eternal. I am so thankful that He is teaching me and stretching my heart to make room for so much, even if that means emotions run high. Sometimes when God sends us, it's right back to our prayer closets to get on our knees and pray...and wait...and pray.
"I used to pray that God would feed the hungry, or do this and do that, but now I pray that He will guide me to do whatever I'm supposed to do, what I can do. I used to pray for answers, but now I pray for strength. I used to believe that prayer changes things, but now I know that prayer changes us and we change things." Mother Theresa
Funding Update
I have to meet my goal by March 7th. The last I checked, I was around $350 away from this goal! I will be checking the account next week to see how the Lord has moved to provide the funding. So if you feel lead to give, now is a great time. If you would join me in prayer for the funding to come through in His timing, I would be most appreciative. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Monday, February 25, 2013
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
I can't get over it...
Tonight,
My heart is so heavy. So full. After all the highs and lows of a busy week (or half a week, really) I am fairly exhausted. Not in a physical sense. The great and attention-grabbing things God has put on my heart are most welcome. But wow. Are they persistent. I'd consider my life, in the general sense, pretty messed up.
I mean that in the best possible way, and in an excited way. I am thrilled that God has a plan for my life to give me a hope and a future, even if that future is different than what I wanted a year ago. Which--by the way, it is. I'm going to try to write this post in "real talk" rather than "Church talk". So bear with me.
Imagine, you are raised in a small town. Your family barely gets by and your mom is expecting another child. Sure, you might be a young girl, but you've heard of girls traveling to big cities for jobs that pay well. You may even see some of the other families are able to afford things like phones and real furniture. A man visiting from the nearest city tells of some job openings, available to girls. No training required. Your mother and father insist that you go take one of these jobs, so that you can send the money back home to support your family. You want to give them all you can and be a faithful, honorable daughter. So, you gladly agree to travel to the city to be a waitress or a server in a bar. You figure that you will be a good daughter if you can get enough money to help out the family. But when you get to the city, something very different happens. Something is wrong. Strange men come to evaluate your appearance. They look at your body. Your hair. Your teeth. They beat you and abuse you until you can barely think strait. Maybe they drug you, maybe they feed you. Maybe it just depends on the trafficker. Once you've been properly broken [in], you are sold, used, used again, broken, sold, used, used again, and broken...so on and so on. You're kept alive, but barely. Maybe your family is getting money, maybe not. The only thing you know for sure is that you are owned. You do what you're told and keep quiet; maybe they won't hit you as hard. Maybe they'll be nicer. Maybe someone else will buy you and treat you better. As long as you stop feeling, caring, thinking, and hoping...you can shut the world out and numb yourself to the pain. Or at least you try to. Until...until what? What do you wait for? Why bother with emotion or thoughts of the outside world? Maybe this is normal. Maybe this is love. Doesn't every girl go through this? This must be all there is.
Now, let's try a slightly different scenario. Let's say you're raised in Houston. Or Atlanta. Or Miami. You know, one of the bigger cities in this area of our world. In this land of "freedom". Your dad is long gone, and mom barely feeds you and your brother with the welfare check that comes every month or so. You're only twelve, but hey--you've lived a lot for a girl your age. Some of your friends sell drugs to bring in money for rent. Most of them don't go to school anymore, there's really no point. It's not like any of you will get into college, but maybe you can finish high school someday. Maybe once mom can kick her habit for good and get a job. But until then, you know you have a responsibility as the oldest sibling to try to make some money. One day, a nicely dressed older gentleman--maybe 30--offers to get you a good meal. You do look a little thin. Money's been tight and you don't eat as much as you should. You agree to the strangers kindness and decide that you can smile enough to show appreciation for the meal. He tells you he's got money. So much money, he doesn't know what to do with it all. He even shows you his wallet; that's the most money you've ever seen at one time. Wow. He must really know what he's doing. He tells you that if you're nice enough to him, he'll share his money with you...but sometimes, you'll need to be nice to his friends too. It seems a little strange to you, but the thought of your baby brother starving at home is motivation enough for you to consider. Six months later, you've slept with more clients than you can keep track of. You're addicted to some drug that your pimp uses to keep you coming back to him. You haven't seen your family in months, and you don't know where you are. All the nights you've spent laying down in the back of a van, travelling hotel to hotel. Meeting man after man with his list of demands and preferences. But hey, you're good at it. And your pimp is more of a father than your real one anyways. At least he keeps you doped up enough so you don't have to feel the pain. It's all you know, so you embrace your broken and crushed spirit. You claim that incredible pain as your identity, and never question it. You end up in some small town called Bryan. You don't know where that is, but this place isn't unlike any other. There is nothing special about this town.
I wish with all my heart that these types of scenarios were uncommon. We like to think of human trafficking in the sense of the first story; as happening in a small town in another country. YES. It absolutely does happen there. It is a real problem in so many countries, but YES it is a problem in our own. It happens in Bryan. Miles from where I'm sitting--right now. There are broken girls that are used, transported, and sold while we sit in our classes and go to our meetings. Oh, how my heart breaks to think about this. I get so angry and frustrated that my hands shake and I feel like I can't breathe. Fifty. Thousand. College. Students. The HUGE Christian bubble that is Texas A&M; and many of us...just...sit. We sit. We remain unaware. Unmoved. Inactive. Where are we? What are we doing?
I just want to hold these girls and pray for them until I run out of words. I want to beg them to listen to what God can do in their hearts. I want God to miraculously open their minds to hope again. I want their pimps and traffickers to rot in jail for what they've done; but I want healing for their hearts, too. I want to sit with them as they wrestle with the pain they've experienced, I want to dry their tears and tell them how beautiful and loved they are to me and to our Savior. I want them to know the most incredible love I've ever experienced and to feel the healing that is unlike any other from a Savior that died and rose again to fight for them. To love them. To win their hearts. To bring them out of captivity. I want them to know that God wants to claim them as His daughter, redeemed and made whole through His love.
I pray that these desires will align with what He wants for me, not what I want for me. I pray that awareness will continue to grow and that these girls will be covered in prayer by men and women of incredible faith. I pray that they hold on. Just hold on, a little bit longer. Somewhere...somewhere there is hope. God will move. God will heal. God will save and rescue. I ask you to join me in prayer for these girls. Maybe there's a specific place or situation on your heart. Maybe you don't know where to start. But I ask that you pray for these women and girls, and that we would be aware of the closeness of this problem. Pray that those called to action would rise up to fight with the Lord to bring justice. Pray that the hearts of these women will be receptive to any and all ways that God is going to reveal Himself to them.
2 Cor. 3:17 "Now the Spirit is the Lord, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom"
Psalm 34:18 "The Lord is near to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit"
My heart is so heavy. So full. After all the highs and lows of a busy week (or half a week, really) I am fairly exhausted. Not in a physical sense. The great and attention-grabbing things God has put on my heart are most welcome. But wow. Are they persistent. I'd consider my life, in the general sense, pretty messed up.
I mean that in the best possible way, and in an excited way. I am thrilled that God has a plan for my life to give me a hope and a future, even if that future is different than what I wanted a year ago. Which--by the way, it is. I'm going to try to write this post in "real talk" rather than "Church talk". So bear with me.
Imagine, you are raised in a small town. Your family barely gets by and your mom is expecting another child. Sure, you might be a young girl, but you've heard of girls traveling to big cities for jobs that pay well. You may even see some of the other families are able to afford things like phones and real furniture. A man visiting from the nearest city tells of some job openings, available to girls. No training required. Your mother and father insist that you go take one of these jobs, so that you can send the money back home to support your family. You want to give them all you can and be a faithful, honorable daughter. So, you gladly agree to travel to the city to be a waitress or a server in a bar. You figure that you will be a good daughter if you can get enough money to help out the family. But when you get to the city, something very different happens. Something is wrong. Strange men come to evaluate your appearance. They look at your body. Your hair. Your teeth. They beat you and abuse you until you can barely think strait. Maybe they drug you, maybe they feed you. Maybe it just depends on the trafficker. Once you've been properly broken [in], you are sold, used, used again, broken, sold, used, used again, and broken...so on and so on. You're kept alive, but barely. Maybe your family is getting money, maybe not. The only thing you know for sure is that you are owned. You do what you're told and keep quiet; maybe they won't hit you as hard. Maybe they'll be nicer. Maybe someone else will buy you and treat you better. As long as you stop feeling, caring, thinking, and hoping...you can shut the world out and numb yourself to the pain. Or at least you try to. Until...until what? What do you wait for? Why bother with emotion or thoughts of the outside world? Maybe this is normal. Maybe this is love. Doesn't every girl go through this? This must be all there is.
Now, let's try a slightly different scenario. Let's say you're raised in Houston. Or Atlanta. Or Miami. You know, one of the bigger cities in this area of our world. In this land of "freedom". Your dad is long gone, and mom barely feeds you and your brother with the welfare check that comes every month or so. You're only twelve, but hey--you've lived a lot for a girl your age. Some of your friends sell drugs to bring in money for rent. Most of them don't go to school anymore, there's really no point. It's not like any of you will get into college, but maybe you can finish high school someday. Maybe once mom can kick her habit for good and get a job. But until then, you know you have a responsibility as the oldest sibling to try to make some money. One day, a nicely dressed older gentleman--maybe 30--offers to get you a good meal. You do look a little thin. Money's been tight and you don't eat as much as you should. You agree to the strangers kindness and decide that you can smile enough to show appreciation for the meal. He tells you he's got money. So much money, he doesn't know what to do with it all. He even shows you his wallet; that's the most money you've ever seen at one time. Wow. He must really know what he's doing. He tells you that if you're nice enough to him, he'll share his money with you...but sometimes, you'll need to be nice to his friends too. It seems a little strange to you, but the thought of your baby brother starving at home is motivation enough for you to consider. Six months later, you've slept with more clients than you can keep track of. You're addicted to some drug that your pimp uses to keep you coming back to him. You haven't seen your family in months, and you don't know where you are. All the nights you've spent laying down in the back of a van, travelling hotel to hotel. Meeting man after man with his list of demands and preferences. But hey, you're good at it. And your pimp is more of a father than your real one anyways. At least he keeps you doped up enough so you don't have to feel the pain. It's all you know, so you embrace your broken and crushed spirit. You claim that incredible pain as your identity, and never question it. You end up in some small town called Bryan. You don't know where that is, but this place isn't unlike any other. There is nothing special about this town.
I wish with all my heart that these types of scenarios were uncommon. We like to think of human trafficking in the sense of the first story; as happening in a small town in another country. YES. It absolutely does happen there. It is a real problem in so many countries, but YES it is a problem in our own. It happens in Bryan. Miles from where I'm sitting--right now. There are broken girls that are used, transported, and sold while we sit in our classes and go to our meetings. Oh, how my heart breaks to think about this. I get so angry and frustrated that my hands shake and I feel like I can't breathe. Fifty. Thousand. College. Students. The HUGE Christian bubble that is Texas A&M; and many of us...just...sit. We sit. We remain unaware. Unmoved. Inactive. Where are we? What are we doing?
I just want to hold these girls and pray for them until I run out of words. I want to beg them to listen to what God can do in their hearts. I want God to miraculously open their minds to hope again. I want their pimps and traffickers to rot in jail for what they've done; but I want healing for their hearts, too. I want to sit with them as they wrestle with the pain they've experienced, I want to dry their tears and tell them how beautiful and loved they are to me and to our Savior. I want them to know the most incredible love I've ever experienced and to feel the healing that is unlike any other from a Savior that died and rose again to fight for them. To love them. To win their hearts. To bring them out of captivity. I want them to know that God wants to claim them as His daughter, redeemed and made whole through His love.
I pray that these desires will align with what He wants for me, not what I want for me. I pray that awareness will continue to grow and that these girls will be covered in prayer by men and women of incredible faith. I pray that they hold on. Just hold on, a little bit longer. Somewhere...somewhere there is hope. God will move. God will heal. God will save and rescue. I ask you to join me in prayer for these girls. Maybe there's a specific place or situation on your heart. Maybe you don't know where to start. But I ask that you pray for these women and girls, and that we would be aware of the closeness of this problem. Pray that those called to action would rise up to fight with the Lord to bring justice. Pray that the hearts of these women will be receptive to any and all ways that God is going to reveal Himself to them.
2 Cor. 3:17 "Now the Spirit is the Lord, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom"
Psalm 34:18 "The Lord is near to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit"
Thursday, February 14, 2013
FELLOWSHIPPP! (And Funding Update!)
Hey All,
I am so wonderfully overwhelmed today. Yes, it's Valentine's Day. And yes, I'm spending it single. But that doesn't add or subtract from the incredible joy that's found in the Lord. I am blessed with friends who encourage me, support me, and hold me accountable! I have been so thrilled to get plugged in with other believers, both on the quad and around the World! If you pray for a community of believers to surround you and pray that the Lord will open your eyes to see the genuine friends you already have, BOOM...WILL HE DELIVER. I am completely sold, drinkin' the kool-aid, and ALL IN. Love the Lord, love others. It's so simple, but having people surround you with prayer and encouraging words and THE Word and reminders of His love when times are tough, makes all the difference. If you're not plugged in, GET THERE! It can be Bible study, Church, small groups, a student organization, people who read the Word together...just find a group of people to live life with who will "spur you on" to grow in your faith. Once you surround yourself with like-minded believers, you will be so encouraged just by knowing they're there. With all the people God has put in my life or reconnected me with, it overwhelms me to see His love. It's moving. It's active. It's changing lives in other schools, towns, and countries. Can you feel it, too? The stirring? Something is happening. Not just here on campus on in Texas or in the United States. Maybe we're finally waking up. Maybe our eyes have been opened to see the beauty of doing work for the Kingdom. Maybe we'll never know why us, or why now. But I tell you what--if you think that Church is boring, Bible Study is reading a bunch of old stories, or that a community of believers can't impact the World--you are mistaken, and I would love nothing more than to show you what God is doing. If you feel in your heart that God is moving you to act, because really, His love compels us to action--do something. Get fellowship. Get active. And GET READY, because God is working and moving in mighty ways. We just have to open our hearts to see it, and decide that it's worth the risk to get involved. Really, what better cause than to chase after Christ and to share His love with the lost, broken, and unreached? What could possibly be better?
-Insert shameless BattleGroups plug-
If you're on the Quad and wonder, are there believers like me? What does it look like to be a Godly leader in the Corps? How can I follow the rules and guidelines but show Christ's love through my actions as a cadet? Do other people struggle in the same way I do? The answers to those questions can be found through some awesome time of fellowship called Battle Groups. I wish I would have been involved as an underclassman, and I encourage you to get involved. Cough, Thursday evenings in Duncan, in non-regs. You can be comfortable, relax, and enjoy a time of small group fellowship where we struggle, grow, and praise the Lord together.
-End of Plug-
Now, on a more serious note, my fundraising update as of today...
I have nothing but humble thanks and praise for those who have donated thus far. It's a constant battle between the bottom line and reminding myself that God is GREATER. He is so faithful and I am trusting it all to HIS timing. I won't pretend that it's easy to do. $6,000 is a lot to owe at 147 days out. I'm well aware. But I am trusting the same God that parted the red sea, spoke to Moses through a burning bush, and thought our World into motion. Suddenly that sum of money just doesn't seem like a challenge. I am struggling to find the balance between having faith in His timing and in actively communicating my needs to friends and family. I want to have joy over the money I've raised, but don't want to seem complacent or inactive. I know know know in my heart that He just wants me to let go. To trust entirely. To stop clicking the "refresh" button on my account as often as I do. So, all of that being said, I won't be checking my missions account until the next milestone's deadline has passed. Oh--feel that little tug in your stomach? Yeah. ME TOO. The, "Oh...what if you're $20 short the day before, and you don't even know to ask for it?" or "What if you're $500 short, and miss it by a long shot?" Well. My God is bigger, and I need to let go. So I'll just say that I owe $360 until I hit the next "milestone" and that amount needs to be in, in the next 20 days. If you're buying a t-shirt, that's separate from this account and you'll need to contact me directly. But other than that, I leave it to the Lord.
God is good. ALL THE TIME!
I am so wonderfully overwhelmed today. Yes, it's Valentine's Day. And yes, I'm spending it single. But that doesn't add or subtract from the incredible joy that's found in the Lord. I am blessed with friends who encourage me, support me, and hold me accountable! I have been so thrilled to get plugged in with other believers, both on the quad and around the World! If you pray for a community of believers to surround you and pray that the Lord will open your eyes to see the genuine friends you already have, BOOM...WILL HE DELIVER. I am completely sold, drinkin' the kool-aid, and ALL IN. Love the Lord, love others. It's so simple, but having people surround you with prayer and encouraging words and THE Word and reminders of His love when times are tough, makes all the difference. If you're not plugged in, GET THERE! It can be Bible study, Church, small groups, a student organization, people who read the Word together...just find a group of people to live life with who will "spur you on" to grow in your faith. Once you surround yourself with like-minded believers, you will be so encouraged just by knowing they're there. With all the people God has put in my life or reconnected me with, it overwhelms me to see His love. It's moving. It's active. It's changing lives in other schools, towns, and countries. Can you feel it, too? The stirring? Something is happening. Not just here on campus on in Texas or in the United States. Maybe we're finally waking up. Maybe our eyes have been opened to see the beauty of doing work for the Kingdom. Maybe we'll never know why us, or why now. But I tell you what--if you think that Church is boring, Bible Study is reading a bunch of old stories, or that a community of believers can't impact the World--you are mistaken, and I would love nothing more than to show you what God is doing. If you feel in your heart that God is moving you to act, because really, His love compels us to action--do something. Get fellowship. Get active. And GET READY, because God is working and moving in mighty ways. We just have to open our hearts to see it, and decide that it's worth the risk to get involved. Really, what better cause than to chase after Christ and to share His love with the lost, broken, and unreached? What could possibly be better?
-Insert shameless BattleGroups plug-
If you're on the Quad and wonder, are there believers like me? What does it look like to be a Godly leader in the Corps? How can I follow the rules and guidelines but show Christ's love through my actions as a cadet? Do other people struggle in the same way I do? The answers to those questions can be found through some awesome time of fellowship called Battle Groups. I wish I would have been involved as an underclassman, and I encourage you to get involved. Cough, Thursday evenings in Duncan, in non-regs. You can be comfortable, relax, and enjoy a time of small group fellowship where we struggle, grow, and praise the Lord together.
-End of Plug-
Now, on a more serious note, my fundraising update as of today...
I have nothing but humble thanks and praise for those who have donated thus far. It's a constant battle between the bottom line and reminding myself that God is GREATER. He is so faithful and I am trusting it all to HIS timing. I won't pretend that it's easy to do. $6,000 is a lot to owe at 147 days out. I'm well aware. But I am trusting the same God that parted the red sea, spoke to Moses through a burning bush, and thought our World into motion. Suddenly that sum of money just doesn't seem like a challenge. I am struggling to find the balance between having faith in His timing and in actively communicating my needs to friends and family. I want to have joy over the money I've raised, but don't want to seem complacent or inactive. I know know know in my heart that He just wants me to let go. To trust entirely. To stop clicking the "refresh" button on my account as often as I do. So, all of that being said, I won't be checking my missions account until the next milestone's deadline has passed. Oh--feel that little tug in your stomach? Yeah. ME TOO. The, "Oh...what if you're $20 short the day before, and you don't even know to ask for it?" or "What if you're $500 short, and miss it by a long shot?" Well. My God is bigger, and I need to let go. So I'll just say that I owe $360 until I hit the next "milestone" and that amount needs to be in, in the next 20 days. If you're buying a t-shirt, that's separate from this account and you'll need to contact me directly. But other than that, I leave it to the Lord.
God is good. ALL THE TIME!
Saturday, February 9, 2013
A Letter to Men
Hey All,
Let me preface this really quickly by saying it was a blessing to have so many of you guys ask me questions! REAL, honest, why-are-girls-so-crazy kind of questions. Thanks to Tiffany for the idea. She's had men write letters to women, and now I feel "up to the challenge" of hopefully encouraging my brothers in Christ to have a better understanding of us woman-folk! I took the questions the men were asked in these letters, as well as some specific questions from guys that submitted them. It's long, but hopefully worth the read. If you have thoughts, please share. I'd like to know how much of this makes sense!
Let me preface this really quickly by saying it was a blessing to have so many of you guys ask me questions! REAL, honest, why-are-girls-so-crazy kind of questions. Thanks to Tiffany for the idea. She's had men write letters to women, and now I feel "up to the challenge" of hopefully encouraging my brothers in Christ to have a better understanding of us woman-folk! I took the questions the men were asked in these letters, as well as some specific questions from guys that submitted them. It's long, but hopefully worth the read. If you have thoughts, please share. I'd like to know how much of this makes sense!
Brother in Christ,
Let me
start out by thanking you for your questions. Thank you for having the courage
to ask specific questions about us women. I will openly admit that we are
confusing, difficult to understand, and sometimes even a little crazy. Hopefully
this letter can help clarify a few things in your mind and heart as you pursue
the Lord and the plan He has for your life, whether that includes a wife or
not. I will also admit to you that dating and relationships have been a huge “thorn
in my side” so-to-speak. I have had enough experience dating the wrong kind of guys to have a solid idea
of what not to look for. I hope and
pray that this letter can be encouraging to you and that God will continue to
work in your heart to make your desire for Him greater than any longing to be
in a relationship.
As for
what attracts me to a guy, I will give you a perfectly cliché, hallmark, Sunday
School answer. He absolutely must be “souled out” for Christ. When I think
about a potential relationship, I will consider what that person is willing to
for the Lord (which should be ANYTHING). There is nothing more attractive than
a man who prays and encourages those around Him. One of (if not the MOST)
attractive qualities in a guy is his heart for the Lord. As for what I notice,
I pay a great deal of attention to a man’s words. Out of the abundance of the
heart, the mouth speaks. Does he spend his time tearing others down, or
building them up? Is he so passionately in love with Christ that he can’t help
but share what the Lord is doing? Do his words match his actions and the way he
lives his life? I am only a woman, and I wish I could say that looks don’t
matter at all. I put a great deal less emphasis on them than I have in the past,
but essentially, girls like to see some effort! Put on a button down shirt.
Wear jeans. Take care of yourself. Those are good places to start!
In
regards to what I’m “looking for” in a potential relationship, the key thing to
me is that I shouldn’t have to look very
hard. I understand that people can
be guarded, and guys especially may not be comfortable talking about emotions.
That’s not what I’m referring to. The qualities I look for should be obvious
parts of them that can’t help but shine through. I am looking for someone to be
a “battle buddy” and a “running partner” (not real running, let’s be honest). I
know this sounds kind of strange. But honestly, I am looking for someone to
fight alongside me to do the Lord’s work. I want a “lion chaser,” meaning,
someone who will actively pursue the Lord and isn't afraid of a challenge. I
will be as honest as I can be, I am stubborn and for the most part, like to
take care of myself. I need a guy who can keep up with me. For this reason I don’t
look for someone who treats me like I might break if you squeeze too hard. I
want someone who will be a spiritual leader but will also spur me on to a
stronger relationship with Christ. Someone who isn't afraid to call me out on
tough issues and be genuine with me, even if that’s difficult to do. I don’t
think I’m comfortable with being in a relationship where I am supported. I need
more than someone to cheer from the sidelines; I want someone to actively
participate with me in reaching the lost for Christ.
If you
are curious about a girls’ intentions, my advice and encouragement is to be honest.
Be honest. Be honest. Be honest. If you find that a girl is pursuing YOU; you’re doing it wrong. I am an
extremely independent person, but I will not chase after a man. I will not ask
you what your intentions are in hopes that you want to date me, court me, or
otherwise pursue me. If you are at the point in a friendship/potential
relationship where you think a girl may have developed feelings for you or may
be romantically interested, you need to DTR—stat. I’m talking about a
face-to-face, sit down, talk it out kind of session. I know, a guy’s worst
nightmare. But I am perfectly serious. Tell her your intentions in a clear and
respectful way, and ask her to explain hers as well. And for goodness’ sake,
encourage her to GUARD HER HEART. If you cannot be honest enough or bold enough
to sit down and explain the way you feel to your sister in Christ, then you do
not need to be pursuing her. You do not need to date her. Your best bet is to
tell her specifically all you want is friendship, and pray for her as a brother
in Christ.
I can’t speak for all women, and
unfortunately, many a guy has thought that I was romantically interested when
all I wanted was a friendship. I believe friendship is the best basis for any
relationship. Girls flirt. We like attention. We like to be told we’re pretty
and we even like those cute little messages you send us, just because.
Sometimes we like the attention and we go along with it because it encourages us
to know that guys will treat us well. This doesn't mean that we are ready for a
relationship or that we are interested. It varies girl to girl on how that’s
expressed. We are called to encourage each other and love one another as
brothers and sisters in Christ! This does not mean we are dating! So unless we've specifically had that conversation, you can safely assume that we are friends.
But again, if you feel that a girl may be developing those feelings, be brave
and talk with her about it. That’s the best way to clarify and understand each
other.
If you
want to encourage your sister in Christ, there are plenty of little (or big) ways
you can do this. Encourage her to read the Word. Speak truth in her life when
she needs it (but speak it in love, please and thank you!). Open her doors for
her. Be her friend. Make her laugh. Listen to her, I mean really, listen. Ask
her to put more clothes on. In a world where men are trying to see as much of
women’s bodies as they can, it is refreshing to have a guy ask a girl to put on
a sweater/wear leggings under that really short dress/etc. I had someone
respectfully ask me something similar once, and it took me by surprise—but I
was thrilled. Encourage us to be modest, and tell us if we are causing you to
stumble. Remind her that Godly men do exist. Serve her by living a life that reflects
the love of Christ! There is nothing more encouraging and refreshing then to
see men my age that are entirely wrapped up in doing the Lord’s work. Finally,
always be praying for her.
A
quick comment on Proverbs 31, you should read it. You should look for it in the
women in your life. It is a great guide for a Godly woman! BUT—look for a woman
who emanates Christ above all else! It’s one thing to desire to serve men as a
Godly woman, using Proverbs 31 as an example. It’s entirely different if a
woman is trying to be the perfect future Mrs. Whoever. I think that’s a trap
many women our age can fall into. If you've found a Godly woman, and she isn't ready to date or isn't comfortable with that kind of relationship at this point in her life, appreciate that. Respect that. Don't settle for less. There is a difference between convenience and connection! Don't settle for a girl that's a non-believer just because it means you can have a hot date or a good lookin' girlfriend. A real woman is worth waiting for, and more than likely, she'll make you wait!
When
pursuing a girl, it’s important to know what she thinks of as “dating”. It can
mean many things to many women. I am one of “those girls” and I like to read
Josh Harris books about good ol’ fashioned courtships. But I have many friends
that are comfortable with anything from casually dating to being friends first
or even courting. We all have different experiences and convictions that shape
the way we handle relationships. Talk about it with the girl you are pursuing
and agree upon the boundaries and expectations of your relationship early on!
This will save a lot of headache, I speak from experience.
Many
of you asked about discussing failures/struggles with sin/past
relationships/past sexual impurity. Phew. That’s a tough issue. When it comes
to you talking about things that you struggle with currently or have had
problems with in the past; there’s a time a place for it. A first date or over
coffee? That’s probably not the ideal time. But there is a need for that
conversation. I’ve read Wild At Heart, and that makes me an expert on men.
(Ha-ha, that was a joke…It’s a touchy subject so that’s your comic relief) But
from what I’ve heard and read, men feel that failure somehow mars them. Failure
isn’t a reality in Christ! We are redeemed and restored through His incredible
love. Failure turns to victory and growth in the presence of Christ! Pray that
God will use your struggles to build your strength in His grace. Rejoice in the
ways God has overcome your struggles for you and the times He has moved in your
heart to remind you of it. We all have a past. We all sin. We are unworthy of
the precious love of our Savior, but He gives it freely. Your sin was nailed
next to mine on the Cross. The beauty in our stories comes from the things He
has overcome in us. There is no shame in Christ! NO SHAME!
That
being said, we women are imperfect. We have struggled too. While you may feel
that your struggle somehow automatically disqualifies you, women have a
seemingly universal struggle as well. The lies of the enemy tell us that our
struggle makes us unworthy. That we don’t deserve better. That we aren’t good
enough. When (not if—when) these lies start to come to mind or attack your
heart (or even the heart of the girl your dating) we are comforted in knowing
that our GOD is greater and He made us in HIS image. We are sensitive about our
pasts. We are hesitant to talk about our hurts and wounds in our hearts. You
are not alone in being anxious about having that conversation, and you are not
alone in the struggle. We are all redeemed and made beautiful (err uh, handsome!) in Christ. I
encourage you to share the things you’ve struggled with, and pray for one
another.
In
closing, women are all so different. We are each unique, beautiful creations in
Christ, and we deserved to be treated as such. We’re royalty! No, I don’t mean
Disney princesses (though sometimes I wish…). We are daughters of the King of
Kings and He made us to be loved and respected. He made woman from Adam’s rib;
to be his equal, by his side, and near to his heart. We want courageous men.
Men who are bold in their faith and who will live a life of character and
reckless abandon for the Lord! I pray that you seek the Lord above all else and
have faith that the very Creator of our universe took the time to hand-fashion
a woman for you and for your heart. Keep pressing on towards the calling God
has for you!
--Your Sister in Christ
Thursday, February 7, 2013
I'm Angry--So I Googled.
Hey All,
I really did Google about my anger. You'll see in a minute.
Thank you for your prayers and support. God is moving in the lives of so many on campus here at Texas A&M. He is using organizations worldwide to share His love and to bring redemption and healing to places so dark and consumed by lies. I'm sure we sometimes would rather pretend these places didn't exist. Maybe we'd rather ignore them. Assume these dark acts only occur in far off places. Surely, surely they don't happen here. They couldn't happen in our own country, could they? It's not that common anyways, is it?
After the Nefarious screening, I became instantly burdened. The reality of the scope and magnitude of the problems regarding sex trafficking and its incredible correlation to prostitution can be easily disheartening
Just to throw a few numbers and facts out to you:
--27 million people are currently enslaved
--88% of those are women and children (80% women, to be more specific)
--In Cambodia, as high as 90% of parents will sell one or more of their daughters to a pimp.
--Prostitution is legalized in Amsterdam. LE-GAL-IZED.
--The international average age women enter into prostitution (or girls, depending on how you view them) is 13 to 14. This includes girls in the United States.
In a slightly comforting way (though, nothing about the film made me very comfortable), many of the professionals interviewed regarding the emotions, damage, and overall effects of sex trafficking and prostitution were--you guessed it, Psychologists. These were professionals who "speak my language" and I instantly could frame the things they found to be true with the small amount of knowledge I've acquired about behavior and conditioning. Sparing the lecture and boring details; these women do not choose prostitution. They do not choose to be trafficked. Some, especially at young ages, do not know they are being trafficked. This is the only lifestyle they know. They have been psychologically broken and reshaped to believe that the relations between them and the "customer" constitutes love. Love. The beautiful language of our Creator. Tainted. Marred. Twisted. Force-fed to these women to make them willing. It's sickening. It's infuriating. It's the reason that, even after women leave prostitution, they may return to work because it is the only sense of normalcy they've ever known.
In the situation of trafficking, especially internationally, many of these women are from small towns. They are promised work, hope, and a way to earn money for their families. Some are sold by their parents. Some volunteer out of love for their families--thinking they will find a good job in the city. They are exploited, stripped of identity, and sold as many times as they can be deemed "useful". They are sold. Sold. SOLD. THESE WOMEN AND YOUNG GIRLS ARE SOLD. These women were made in HIS image. They are our sisters in Christ. They are beautiful and made to be loved; like every other woman. That beauty is poisoned. Used against them, to destroy any semblance they had of hope or of a brighter future. They are trapped in a body that is used like an object. They are left with the guilt, shame, pain, memories, nightmares, flashbacks, and emptiness. Make no mistake; these women are attacked. Physically, yes. Of course. But more than that. Spiritually. Their very souls are tormented by a life that is built on lies of the enemy. They are vulnerable and broken physically and emotionally by their traffickers or pimps or clients; what little hope they may have to hold on to is stomped out like a used match.
The only two things I can reconcile myself to understand at this point are that (1) The enemy is actively involved in the breaking and abuse of these women. In the way they learn to hate themselves and lose all sense of hope. In the way that these men feel the need to purchase women for fulfillment. In the lies the pimp or traffickers tells himself so that he can believe in his heart that it's just "good business". He is on the hunt for these women and would love nothing more than to destroy their hearts. (2) Our God is a healer. He is a redeemer. Regardless of the hopelessness and pain and bitter, hard, angry hearts that these women all share; He is greater. There is NOTHING, absolutely nothing that can separate these women from the love of Christ. There is NOTHING our God cannot do and no heart that He can't restore.
I've tried to write about this, specifically, several (maybe 5, 6, 7...) times already. The end result is usually me, frustrated, angry, and I end up in prayer and forget what "good takeaway" or "positive" there is to pull from all of this.(I do mean angry. Hands shaking, face red, had to Google "is it a sin to be angry with the Church for sitting idly by?" kind of angry...luckily righteous anger often moves us to action!) It took me a while to calm down enough to find words. It's understandable, given the nature of the acts done to these women. I pray, and ask you to pray, that God would use my passion to serve, help, and heal. Even if it's just one. That is one heart that can come to know the love and healing I know in my life. One woman or child rescued, one pimp that stops selling, one "John" that stops buying...that's where it starts. I humbly ask that you spend time in prayer for these women. There is a very real, nightmare of a spiritual battle being fought over these women. We can start with prayer, until God moves us to action. But please do consider, if you are called to action; don't run. Don't run from a calling because these numbers seem too big. Don't run because you don't know where to start, how to help, or what to do. The Lord will direct your steps and guide your heart. There are people that think about doing; and there are people that do. Which will you be?
I really did Google about my anger. You'll see in a minute.
Thank you for your prayers and support. God is moving in the lives of so many on campus here at Texas A&M. He is using organizations worldwide to share His love and to bring redemption and healing to places so dark and consumed by lies. I'm sure we sometimes would rather pretend these places didn't exist. Maybe we'd rather ignore them. Assume these dark acts only occur in far off places. Surely, surely they don't happen here. They couldn't happen in our own country, could they? It's not that common anyways, is it?
After the Nefarious screening, I became instantly burdened. The reality of the scope and magnitude of the problems regarding sex trafficking and its incredible correlation to prostitution can be easily disheartening
Just to throw a few numbers and facts out to you:
--27 million people are currently enslaved
--88% of those are women and children (80% women, to be more specific)
--In Cambodia, as high as 90% of parents will sell one or more of their daughters to a pimp.
--Prostitution is legalized in Amsterdam. LE-GAL-IZED.
--The international average age women enter into prostitution (or girls, depending on how you view them) is 13 to 14. This includes girls in the United States.
In a slightly comforting way (though, nothing about the film made me very comfortable), many of the professionals interviewed regarding the emotions, damage, and overall effects of sex trafficking and prostitution were--you guessed it, Psychologists. These were professionals who "speak my language" and I instantly could frame the things they found to be true with the small amount of knowledge I've acquired about behavior and conditioning. Sparing the lecture and boring details; these women do not choose prostitution. They do not choose to be trafficked. Some, especially at young ages, do not know they are being trafficked. This is the only lifestyle they know. They have been psychologically broken and reshaped to believe that the relations between them and the "customer" constitutes love. Love. The beautiful language of our Creator. Tainted. Marred. Twisted. Force-fed to these women to make them willing. It's sickening. It's infuriating. It's the reason that, even after women leave prostitution, they may return to work because it is the only sense of normalcy they've ever known.
In the situation of trafficking, especially internationally, many of these women are from small towns. They are promised work, hope, and a way to earn money for their families. Some are sold by their parents. Some volunteer out of love for their families--thinking they will find a good job in the city. They are exploited, stripped of identity, and sold as many times as they can be deemed "useful". They are sold. Sold. SOLD. THESE WOMEN AND YOUNG GIRLS ARE SOLD. These women were made in HIS image. They are our sisters in Christ. They are beautiful and made to be loved; like every other woman. That beauty is poisoned. Used against them, to destroy any semblance they had of hope or of a brighter future. They are trapped in a body that is used like an object. They are left with the guilt, shame, pain, memories, nightmares, flashbacks, and emptiness. Make no mistake; these women are attacked. Physically, yes. Of course. But more than that. Spiritually. Their very souls are tormented by a life that is built on lies of the enemy. They are vulnerable and broken physically and emotionally by their traffickers or pimps or clients; what little hope they may have to hold on to is stomped out like a used match.
The only two things I can reconcile myself to understand at this point are that (1) The enemy is actively involved in the breaking and abuse of these women. In the way they learn to hate themselves and lose all sense of hope. In the way that these men feel the need to purchase women for fulfillment. In the lies the pimp or traffickers tells himself so that he can believe in his heart that it's just "good business". He is on the hunt for these women and would love nothing more than to destroy their hearts. (2) Our God is a healer. He is a redeemer. Regardless of the hopelessness and pain and bitter, hard, angry hearts that these women all share; He is greater. There is NOTHING, absolutely nothing that can separate these women from the love of Christ. There is NOTHING our God cannot do and no heart that He can't restore.
I've tried to write about this, specifically, several (maybe 5, 6, 7...) times already. The end result is usually me, frustrated, angry, and I end up in prayer and forget what "good takeaway" or "positive" there is to pull from all of this.(I do mean angry. Hands shaking, face red, had to Google "is it a sin to be angry with the Church for sitting idly by?" kind of angry...luckily righteous anger often moves us to action!) It took me a while to calm down enough to find words. It's understandable, given the nature of the acts done to these women. I pray, and ask you to pray, that God would use my passion to serve, help, and heal. Even if it's just one. That is one heart that can come to know the love and healing I know in my life. One woman or child rescued, one pimp that stops selling, one "John" that stops buying...that's where it starts. I humbly ask that you spend time in prayer for these women. There is a very real, nightmare of a spiritual battle being fought over these women. We can start with prayer, until God moves us to action. But please do consider, if you are called to action; don't run. Don't run from a calling because these numbers seem too big. Don't run because you don't know where to start, how to help, or what to do. The Lord will direct your steps and guide your heart. There are people that think about doing; and there are people that do. Which will you be?
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