Hey All,
I am constantly blown away by the ways God brings the perfect encouragement at the right time. He is faithful, and I am blessed. I've had several conversations in the past few weeks that can't be anything but divine appointment! I've had people I haven't talk to in years, months, (or really talked to at all) say the things I've needed to hear at just the right moments. Talk about encouragement from every angle.
I can tell that the reality of leaving is starting to sink in, finally. I have 159 days left in Texas before I leave for training in Arizona. That leaves 129 days until my full payment is due. Yeah, those numbers are getting smaller and smaller--really fast. As much as I want to worry, I know that there is no reason to. He will bring the funding in when it's the right time, not when I kindly remind Him that I still need a solid six grand. For all the friends who've told me that fundraising alone will stretch your faith--they were not joking. They've been spot on, and I thank them for their honesty.
A few people who've seen (or even noticed) the "Chasing After Lions" reference in my blog website have assumed it was a pun based on the fact that I'm going to Africa. ...Africa, chasing lions...get it? As much as I wish I could take credit for being that clever, the title is actually something much more meaningful. There's a little known story in the Old Testament (yeah, people still read that sometimes) about a man named Benaiah. For some of you Biblical History folk, you may recognize his name as being the leader of David's army. That's an awesome job title, but that's not where his story starts.
In 1 Chronicles, chapter 11, there's one verse that summarizes Benaiah's accomplishments. Consider it his resume.
"Benaiah, son of Jehoiada, was a valiant fighter from Kabzeel, who performed great exploits. He struck down two of Moab's best men. He also went down into a pit on a snowy day and killed a lion."
Wait--what? In a loose, modern-day equivalent, it's saying "BTW--killed a lion today. NBD. It was kinda snowy though, so it was cold and stuff..."
And that's exactly what he did. It doesn't say he was chased by a lion and fought it off. It also doesn't say he had his crazy-swole group of mighty men with him to put a hurtin' on some little lion cub. It says he WENT DOWN into a pit, and fought the lion. Oh, and it was snowy and he was alone and he didn't just fight it, he killed it dead. I can't even begin to think of the best way to kill a lion, but I'm guessing that being in a pit with snow in it would be a bit of a disadvantage.
There is an awesome book written about this guy and the God he serves. It's called "In a Pit With a Lion on A Snowy Day". Don't let the preposition-ridden title fool you though, this book is fantastic. It analyzes Benaiah's characteristics and what kind of crazy person chases after a lion. That's where this insane story meets up with my life (and all of ours, if we let it). Running into a lion in the middle of a snow storm is NOT what I'd call an "awesome opportunity". To me, it just sounds like a nightmare. But, because of Ben's instinct to chase after the lion (literally), word gets around to King David about what he's done. He ends up the commander of David's army. What we'd think of as a nightmare ended up being one of the biggest highlights of Ben's resume. It got him to the place where God wanted him to go. Are you starting to piece it all together yet?
I won't summarize the entire book--but trust me, it is worth a read. The "lions" in our life often look like failure. They look like us, miserably crashing and burning and grasping at straws because we have no idea why our life is suddenly falling apart. The scary, huge problems in our lives can be our lions. The situations that we think must be too hard or too difficult for God to use can actually be exactly where we need to be. Not only are we supposed to accept these challenges, we're supposed to chase after them. To fight them. To allow God to bring us the unthinkable victory at the last minute. Yeah, it's dramatic. It's intense. But it's the life of a lion-chaser.
Some people naturally have and recognize these characteristics, others don't--or don't know it yet. When I think of "lion-chasers" that I know or have heard of, I think of people who start Bible studies in their living rooms with a few guys and a guitar. That Bible study is now called Breakaway--and serves thousands of Aggies every Tuesday in Reed Arena. I think of people like Levi Benkert, who sell their possessions and uproot their families to move to Ethopia; all to save the lives of children and heal the hearts of widows. I think of Ms.Rhonda, who runs an orphanage in Honduras and has brought more hope and healing to that community than you'd think possible. These are the type of people that I'd consider full-fledged, badge-wearing, lion-chasers.
But we all could stand to be a little more courageous in our lives. There's a part in each of us that longs to live a sold-out life for Christ that doesn't ask questions--that just acts on faith. I think there's something in our hearts, instinctively, that knows we're made for more than just the 9 to 5 kind of job. But I have to warn you, should you find yourself to be a lion chaser...you might end up a little--restless. I have to remind myself that not everyone spends their time browsing the internet for international ministry jobs instead of doing their Biology homework (Mom, Dad, if you're reading this..just know that my homework will still get done!)
You might find yourself a somewhat confused, because God is interfering in your life in a BIG way. You might even feel overwhelmed, like the desire in your heart to serve others is taking too much time away from other things. You might feel like you have NO idea where to start, what your "lion" is, or what you're supposed to do.But if you find yourself starting down challenges with an open mind, you believe that playing it safe is too risky, you'd rather act now and consider the odds later, and you know that you are guaranteed uncertainty--you might just be a lion chaser. And you might just learn to love it. I encourage you to read the book, and of course to pray. His biggest challenges and our hardest trials can turn out to be the very thing that puts us on track to the life He has planned for us; sometimes it just takes a little adjusting.
I am so thrilled at the ways God is working in the lives of so many people that I know, and in my life as well. There is much to be excited for, and I can't wait to see what's next. 159 days to go.
2 Timothy 2:7; For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, love, and a sound mind.
Monday, January 28, 2013
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
We Don't Need You...GO SIT DOWN.
Hey All,
I'm sitting here in the first week of classes, with admittedly not much to do. I find myself staring at the current balance in my missions account. Humbled, thankful, excited--and frustrated. So incredibly frustrated. At part with myself, but also with a few things I think seem to have...well, rubbed me the wrong way.
I have several women in my mind that I can think of that are incredible, Godly women who live Christ-centered lives. Sure, they are busy.We all have our schedules and the demands of life. But they are never too busy to listen, pray, or stop what they're doing to share what God has put on their hearts or what they're struggling with for the day/week/month. All of them daughters of the King, all of them beautiful. All of them struggle, have been brokenhearted and have found redemption through our Savior.
Some of them were not raised in Christian homes. Some of them aren't comfortable praying out loud. Some of them have regrets that the Lord is working to turn to lessons and healing. Some of them struggle with drinking, sex, negative self-thoughts, don't hang around friends we would "bring to Church", and don't attend Bible study every Sunday, Wednesday, and Thursday. But they LOVE our Savior and they are the first to tell you how they've struggled. How they sin. How they've believed the lies of the enemy for too long and had to break free from lifestyles that didn't reflect what they know in their hearts. These women are not afraid to ask for prayer. They will come to you with their failures and heartaches and tears because they have no shame in Christ. They are sinners who struggle; and they are beautiful. They can't quote every verse in the Bible or explain to you the exegesis of the Old Testament. But their lives are real. Full of failures. Imperfect. Made whole through Christ.
Now. There is another group of women that comes to mind. They might as well have a parking spot and pew reserved at Church for Sundays, Sunday evenings, Wednesday nights, and Saturdays too. They live blessed lives, as far as we know. They never curse, drink, disrespect their parents, have impure thoughts, get angry, or sin in any way. At least that's what they'd let you think. These women are busy with Church, Bible Study, Women's Groups, working in the Nursery, etc etc etc. You get the idea. I love these women just the same, and I love their dedication to serving--really. But their hearts are condemning, to others, and likely to themselves.You can hear it in the way they ask you where you were last Sunday, why they saw you talking to "Sally" who's a non-believer, why you spend time with friends that drink, etc. Every time I see the looks of judgement from them to the girl who's not "dressed appropriately" for Church or the shock in their eyes when they learn someone has struggled with drinking, gambling, or even--had a divorce--I want to tell them to SIT DOWN. WE DON'T NEED YOU. YOU ARE HURTING YOUR SISTERS IN CHRIST.
I know--I'm judging them in even saying that they're too judgmental. But hear me out. I want them to sit still, for even a few minutes, and be honest with themselves. Be humbled before the Lord. Be reminded of how easy it is to fool ourselves into thinking we are "good women". Here's a hint; NONE of us are. I want them to think back to Mary and Martha. I desire for them to have a change of heart and for the Lord to work in their lives! But I also want them to realize the damage they (--we--) do as women when we go to Church acting as if our lives are perfect. YES, we are always blessed to face another day. YES, we can always have joy in Christ even in our sufferings. But NO we cannot be so foolish as to think that anyone will take the charade seriously.
The danger lies in the women (especially young women, us college women) who look to them and think that if we were "Godly enough" (whatever that means) that our lives would look like that. Arguably, the opposite is true. When we are constantly facing difficult trials (real talk: when life seems to fall apart all at once), we can KNOW that God is working in us and is in the business of using our failures to make us better. To make us real. To humble us. To convince us the charade does other women HARM.
We all do it. We all have at some point, do now, or will in the future. I think it's part of our struggle with self-image as women that makes us compare ourselves to every other girl on the face of the planet. But please, hear me out. We are not called to stand up and shout about our perfections. Sit down and search your heart. Are you more concerned with the image you're portraying or Who's Image you're bearing?
To the women who don't think that they are "that girl" that's sold out for Christ, because they sin too much, make too many mistakes, or don't go to enough Bible studies, please. STAND UP! You are the women we need. You, who have been through the fires and flood and can stand on the other side in awe of the overwhelming love of Christ. You, who finally broke free of that addiction. Who finally left that hurtful relationship. Who finally stopped running from Christ and sprinted to the Cross to be made whole. Who has been broken and made whole more times than you can even count. We need you. We need your story. We need real women who will share what God has done in your life. Your story is one of redemption and you are beautiful because of the God you serve. You probably are "that girl", and you impact more people with your honesty than you'll ever know.
I love women that serve. I love that there are women who enjoy seasons of peace and joy in their lives--that is not my frustration. Please understand that I wish we, as women, would be more honest with each other. It's hard enough to be a woman in this world. It can be exhausting to try to keep up with our emotions and everything that's going on in our lives. We all know how hard it is to stand up for what we believe in. The last thing we need is to make it harder on each other with all the pretending, surface-only, acting-right-but-living-wrong, pretending-we-have-it-all-together "show".
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
2 Corinthians 12:9
I'm sitting here in the first week of classes, with admittedly not much to do. I find myself staring at the current balance in my missions account. Humbled, thankful, excited--and frustrated. So incredibly frustrated. At part with myself, but also with a few things I think seem to have...well, rubbed me the wrong way.
I have several women in my mind that I can think of that are incredible, Godly women who live Christ-centered lives. Sure, they are busy.We all have our schedules and the demands of life. But they are never too busy to listen, pray, or stop what they're doing to share what God has put on their hearts or what they're struggling with for the day/week/month. All of them daughters of the King, all of them beautiful. All of them struggle, have been brokenhearted and have found redemption through our Savior.
Some of them were not raised in Christian homes. Some of them aren't comfortable praying out loud. Some of them have regrets that the Lord is working to turn to lessons and healing. Some of them struggle with drinking, sex, negative self-thoughts, don't hang around friends we would "bring to Church", and don't attend Bible study every Sunday, Wednesday, and Thursday. But they LOVE our Savior and they are the first to tell you how they've struggled. How they sin. How they've believed the lies of the enemy for too long and had to break free from lifestyles that didn't reflect what they know in their hearts. These women are not afraid to ask for prayer. They will come to you with their failures and heartaches and tears because they have no shame in Christ. They are sinners who struggle; and they are beautiful. They can't quote every verse in the Bible or explain to you the exegesis of the Old Testament. But their lives are real. Full of failures. Imperfect. Made whole through Christ.
Now. There is another group of women that comes to mind. They might as well have a parking spot and pew reserved at Church for Sundays, Sunday evenings, Wednesday nights, and Saturdays too. They live blessed lives, as far as we know. They never curse, drink, disrespect their parents, have impure thoughts, get angry, or sin in any way. At least that's what they'd let you think. These women are busy with Church, Bible Study, Women's Groups, working in the Nursery, etc etc etc. You get the idea. I love these women just the same, and I love their dedication to serving--really. But their hearts are condemning, to others, and likely to themselves.You can hear it in the way they ask you where you were last Sunday, why they saw you talking to "Sally" who's a non-believer, why you spend time with friends that drink, etc. Every time I see the looks of judgement from them to the girl who's not "dressed appropriately" for Church or the shock in their eyes when they learn someone has struggled with drinking, gambling, or even--had a divorce--I want to tell them to SIT DOWN. WE DON'T NEED YOU. YOU ARE HURTING YOUR SISTERS IN CHRIST.
I know--I'm judging them in even saying that they're too judgmental. But hear me out. I want them to sit still, for even a few minutes, and be honest with themselves. Be humbled before the Lord. Be reminded of how easy it is to fool ourselves into thinking we are "good women". Here's a hint; NONE of us are. I want them to think back to Mary and Martha. I desire for them to have a change of heart and for the Lord to work in their lives! But I also want them to realize the damage they (--we--) do as women when we go to Church acting as if our lives are perfect. YES, we are always blessed to face another day. YES, we can always have joy in Christ even in our sufferings. But NO we cannot be so foolish as to think that anyone will take the charade seriously.
The danger lies in the women (especially young women, us college women) who look to them and think that if we were "Godly enough" (whatever that means) that our lives would look like that. Arguably, the opposite is true. When we are constantly facing difficult trials (real talk: when life seems to fall apart all at once), we can KNOW that God is working in us and is in the business of using our failures to make us better. To make us real. To humble us. To convince us the charade does other women HARM.
We all do it. We all have at some point, do now, or will in the future. I think it's part of our struggle with self-image as women that makes us compare ourselves to every other girl on the face of the planet. But please, hear me out. We are not called to stand up and shout about our perfections. Sit down and search your heart. Are you more concerned with the image you're portraying or Who's Image you're bearing?
To the women who don't think that they are "that girl" that's sold out for Christ, because they sin too much, make too many mistakes, or don't go to enough Bible studies, please. STAND UP! You are the women we need. You, who have been through the fires and flood and can stand on the other side in awe of the overwhelming love of Christ. You, who finally broke free of that addiction. Who finally left that hurtful relationship. Who finally stopped running from Christ and sprinted to the Cross to be made whole. Who has been broken and made whole more times than you can even count. We need you. We need your story. We need real women who will share what God has done in your life. Your story is one of redemption and you are beautiful because of the God you serve. You probably are "that girl", and you impact more people with your honesty than you'll ever know.
I love women that serve. I love that there are women who enjoy seasons of peace and joy in their lives--that is not my frustration. Please understand that I wish we, as women, would be more honest with each other. It's hard enough to be a woman in this world. It can be exhausting to try to keep up with our emotions and everything that's going on in our lives. We all know how hard it is to stand up for what we believe in. The last thing we need is to make it harder on each other with all the pretending, surface-only, acting-right-but-living-wrong, pretending-we-have-it-all-together "show".
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
2 Corinthians 12:9
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Why Bother?
Hey All,
Before I start ranting--I mean, writing...I want to wish you all a belated and blessed New Year! It's now 2013. and for some reason, I'm suddenly feeling like the countdown has "officially" begun. I'm $7,000 away from my goal--but I'm believing in faith that the money will come through! (I did the math; if EVERY person on my facebook gave $9.00...I'd reach my goal!) I am excited and so ready for all this year has to offer. I sincerely thank you from the bottom-of-my-heart for reading this and for supporting me. You are all a collective blessing in my life thanks to your kind words and heartfelt prayers.
Some of the most common questions I hear when I describe my trip to people are, "Why bother?" or "Why are you going?", "Isn't that a ton of money?", "What happens to the kids when you leave?". I'd like to address some of these questions, and please know that I do so as genuinely as possible.
For me, it all starts with the Gospel. I'm sure many of us can recite John 3:16 in a heartbeat, but that's not actually what I'm referring to. I think one of the ways to know that you've fully digested the Gospel is to realize that you can't. Once we've taken in the full, beautiful devastation of the Gospel...it will change the way we think. It's an entire shift in mentality. Suddenly, everything will all come back to His unfailing love, our unworthiness, and His unfathomable forgiveness. When we live in the understanding that we are meant to be separated by sin, but we are reunited at the feet of Jesus when we leave our burdens, sin, and failures at the Cross.
When, on an individual level, we look at our own life and see the brokenness...when we see the pain and the heartache and the trials we've endured, the beauty of the Gospel will wreck our lives. He will be our number one. His desires become the desires of our heart. And suddenly, everything else just seems to matter less. I can appreciate the beauty of his forgiveness because I've lived in the brokenness of my failures. I can look to tomorrow with hope and joy, because of the storms He's carried me through--bitter, fighting, and uncertain.
I believe in my heart of hearts that there is a brokenness in the World. In the realities of so many, they have endured pain and suffering in their lives--but they have no beautiful devastation to frame their problems. They have no knowledge of our incredible Savior to keep them afloat. They live in a darkness of the heart that is desperately crying out for salvation from a God that they don't yet know. My desire and my passion is to live the Gospel with them, beside them. To love them as He loves us. If the Lord would use my life and my heart as a tool to shine His light into that darkness, that would be enough. I'm merely a vessel of the glorious message of our Savior and His love.
I want to see the broken healed in His name. I want them to know my Savior and what He's done in my life, and that He can work in their lives with all the intricacy and redemption that I know in my heart. I want the widowed to find love in Him that can heal the pain of their loss. I want orphans to be raised with the love of an eternal Father that will never end. I want young women to pursue the Lord as the healer of their broken hearts, no matter the pain caused by the men who have hurt them. I want young boys to be transformed into Godly men that will lead their households on faith. I want His name to be glorified in every nation and every heart. I may not see the day that every knee will bow and every tongue confess, but I do believe with all my heart that I will see miracles. That our God will do the unthinkable and soften the hardest of hearts. That lives will change and glorify Him and Him alone. That it doesn't matter if they remember my name, as long as they get to know and love the God that sent me.
I can't say for sure what will happen. I can't even begin to fathom the wonderful things He has planned for our team. All I know is that He will be glorified and lifted high in all that we do. That, I'm certain of.
Before I start ranting--I mean, writing...I want to wish you all a belated and blessed New Year! It's now 2013. and for some reason, I'm suddenly feeling like the countdown has "officially" begun. I'm $7,000 away from my goal--but I'm believing in faith that the money will come through! (I did the math; if EVERY person on my facebook gave $9.00...I'd reach my goal!) I am excited and so ready for all this year has to offer. I sincerely thank you from the bottom-of-my-heart for reading this and for supporting me. You are all a collective blessing in my life thanks to your kind words and heartfelt prayers.
Some of the most common questions I hear when I describe my trip to people are, "Why bother?" or "Why are you going?", "Isn't that a ton of money?", "What happens to the kids when you leave?". I'd like to address some of these questions, and please know that I do so as genuinely as possible.
For me, it all starts with the Gospel. I'm sure many of us can recite John 3:16 in a heartbeat, but that's not actually what I'm referring to. I think one of the ways to know that you've fully digested the Gospel is to realize that you can't. Once we've taken in the full, beautiful devastation of the Gospel...it will change the way we think. It's an entire shift in mentality. Suddenly, everything will all come back to His unfailing love, our unworthiness, and His unfathomable forgiveness. When we live in the understanding that we are meant to be separated by sin, but we are reunited at the feet of Jesus when we leave our burdens, sin, and failures at the Cross.
When, on an individual level, we look at our own life and see the brokenness...when we see the pain and the heartache and the trials we've endured, the beauty of the Gospel will wreck our lives. He will be our number one. His desires become the desires of our heart. And suddenly, everything else just seems to matter less. I can appreciate the beauty of his forgiveness because I've lived in the brokenness of my failures. I can look to tomorrow with hope and joy, because of the storms He's carried me through--bitter, fighting, and uncertain.
I believe in my heart of hearts that there is a brokenness in the World. In the realities of so many, they have endured pain and suffering in their lives--but they have no beautiful devastation to frame their problems. They have no knowledge of our incredible Savior to keep them afloat. They live in a darkness of the heart that is desperately crying out for salvation from a God that they don't yet know. My desire and my passion is to live the Gospel with them, beside them. To love them as He loves us. If the Lord would use my life and my heart as a tool to shine His light into that darkness, that would be enough. I'm merely a vessel of the glorious message of our Savior and His love.
I want to see the broken healed in His name. I want them to know my Savior and what He's done in my life, and that He can work in their lives with all the intricacy and redemption that I know in my heart. I want the widowed to find love in Him that can heal the pain of their loss. I want orphans to be raised with the love of an eternal Father that will never end. I want young women to pursue the Lord as the healer of their broken hearts, no matter the pain caused by the men who have hurt them. I want young boys to be transformed into Godly men that will lead their households on faith. I want His name to be glorified in every nation and every heart. I may not see the day that every knee will bow and every tongue confess, but I do believe with all my heart that I will see miracles. That our God will do the unthinkable and soften the hardest of hearts. That lives will change and glorify Him and Him alone. That it doesn't matter if they remember my name, as long as they get to know and love the God that sent me.
I can't say for sure what will happen. I can't even begin to fathom the wonderful things He has planned for our team. All I know is that He will be glorified and lifted high in all that we do. That, I'm certain of.
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