Spoiled Brat; a change in thinking.

It’s not about the money…but…isn’t it?

Come on, Lord. $6,000 is NOTHING compared to burning bushes and chariots of fire and angel armies appearing from heaven. I know that You will provide, but when? A month before? A week before? The last day that money can possibly be submitted? Wouldn’t it just be better for everyone if they money came in…right…about…now?

Well, for His purposes; it is actually better for me that the money come in…later. I don’t know when. I don’t know how. I’m not there yet, though. Wherever I need to be in order to not feel the need for this money to come in NOW, I’ve got a ways to go before I get there. And until then, it’s me and Him. Every day. Working towards peace and joy and not holding onto this selfish impatience.

I’ll be entirely honest with you all today. I feel like a spoiled brat. Oh, yeah. I haven’t used that phrase in ages…but it’s exactly what I felt like in prayer earlier. There are bigger problems in the World. Greater needs. People that don’t have food or shoes or clothes, people who lost loved ones and buddies, people in need of so much. And here I am, complaining because I haven’t raised $10,000 yet.

I heard an awesome story about the Lord providing for someone else’s trip today. My first reaction? GOD IS SO GOOD! My  second? Okay, so where is my miracle? When does my cash start rolling in? I KNOW...awful. Just awful...like I said, spoiled brat. Total mess. But, a mess that is redeemed and loved. A work in progress. A sinner saved by grace, through faith. I ask that you pray pray pray pray pray. Pray. Pray. Pray. Pray. And. Pray. Please.


"I hear the Savior say, thy strength indeed is small. Child of weakness, watch and pray. Find in Me, thine all in all".

BOOM. It hit me. Find in HIM my all. My everything. In my selfish desire to have the security of money in my missions account; I am literally trying to rob God of doing a miraculous work. Isn't that what I've been PRAYING to see?! Isn't that on my heart, to see our GOD of wonders do incredible things? Isn't this exactly what I signed on for? Life with HIM is crazy. Unexpected. Doesn't make sense to the outside world. Doesn't follow a set plan, path, or timeline. THIS is what HE put on my heart to desire; an adventure. Forget the "you are beautiful" and "you're a princess" pep talks. GOD made my heart for more than this. For more than the superficial. For something new and different and just plan NUTS. That's what living for Him is all about.

Maybe instead of praying that the Lord would hurry up with bringing the money in, I should be praying that HE will use my fundraising to get people's attention. To prove without a shadow of a doubt that HE IS ALIVE AND LIVING IN ME! Can you imagine how incredible it would be to raise the whole $6,000 in a DAY, at the last minute? Can you imagine how much potential that has to show others the power and love and faithfulness of our God? He can use this ALL for His glory and to reach others...before I ever even get on the plane. I've been saying that mission work doesn't start when I get to Africa, maybe it's time I start living that out. 

I’m in need of some intervention of the Divine nature. $6,000 in 95 days..a little over $60 for every day. If you would be so kind as to share in this journey with me, I can’t meet this goal on my own. I believe that the Lord works through communities and the fellowship we have with each other. I am praying daily that the Lord will provide on HIS time. Not mine. Not mine. Not mine. Yeah, I have to repeat it. I have to get it in my head (and heart) that this is not up to me or my impatience. I can’t just stomp my foot and get what I want, when I want it. By HIS grace and in HIS timing, this money will come through.

Can you believe that with me?

Phil. 1:6 "...being confident in this, that He, who began a good work in you, will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus..."