"Talitha, cumi" is the phrase used by Jesus to resurrect a man's daughter from her death in Mark chapter 5. He says to her, "Little girl, rise up".
If there was ever a phrase that spoke to what God has put on my heart, this would be it.
To understand the power of being called to rise out of our despair and spiritual death, we have to recognize how low that pit can be. The defenseless, the broken, the manipulated, the owned, the least of these. The modern day sex slave isn't so different from any girl that you or I know. She has a name, but it's doubtful she even refers to herself by that anymore. She secretly just wants to be told how beautiful she is, but she's afraid of that beauty because it's been marred by the lies of her clients and the abuse of the men in her life. She's dreamed of a day that rescue would come; a day that justice would be served. There was a life before her captivity. There was a time that she knew freedom. She goes to your school and lives down your street. Maybe she's been to your Church; maybe she didn't look like she belonged there. She's the scantily clothed woman in the grocery store that the Holy Spirit calls you to pray for. She's in jail for prostitution, but no one ever bothered to ask her if she had a choice in the matter. It's likely that she didn't. She's not an "other" an "unknown"--and she is not part of a "them". She is part of us, a part of God's creation and a part of our community. She's one of our own, and we are called to be a part of her solution. We are called to be a part of her story; a part of love's restoration in her heart. If the Church won't rise up to defend her, who will? Or are we so comfortable in our pews that we'd rather not deal with the girls being sold across the street?
Our God loves with a reckless, fierce, passionate love that is evident in the hearts of those who follow after Him. He is a righteous God of justice who provides a defense for the widow and is a father to the orphan. We are called, time and time again in scripture, to seek justice and be a voice for those who have been silenced. This is not optional; service doesn't earn you bonus points in Christianity--at least it shouldn't. God doesn't ask us politely to volunteer once a week at the local homeless shelter so we can cross it off our list and sleep better at night; He calls us to take up the cross daily and boldly follow after Him. We are not called to make ourselves martyrs, but we are certainly called to rejoice in any suffering we may encounter for the cause of Christ. Will we turn a blind eye, or will we pray? Will we act? Will we be the hands and feet of Christ to reach out to our sisters, broken and bleeding in dark rooms, in places known and unknown?
"Open your mouths for the mute, for the rights of all who are destitute. Open your mouth, judge righteously, defend the rights of the poor and needy" Proverbs 31:8,9
"Learn to do good; seek justice, correct oppression, bring justice to the fatherless, plead the widow's case" Isaiah 1:17
Maybe it's too inconvenient for you to take the time to think through the reality of trafficking. Maybe you'd rather ignore it or stay uninformed so that you won't have to face the facts that we have women and young girls being sold in our college town, in your home town, in your school, in your community. Maybe you'd rather believe that it only happens in other countries, or that we are merely a site of transport and not a part of the problem. As uncomfortable as it may be for you to reconcile these facts; it is far more uncomfortable to explain to women who have been brought out of captivity why their rescue took so long. Faith without works is just a belief in your head, without yielding to the calling in your heart.
This calling to serve, desire for justice, call to action--whatever you'd like to call it, is not a burden. It is the biggest blessing I could possibly ask for. Is there anything more amazing than being a part of God's heart for justice on this earth? Is there any calling more fulfilling than to love broken people, because we recognize our own brokenness and the healing God has brought us? All of creation groans in anticipation for the Gospel. The hearts and spirits of our sisters in slavery are broken. They are cold, bitter, and have had their hopes destroyed. They have been abused in ways that can and should always, always break our hearts. In the depths of their despair, Christ looks to them and says, "Daughter, rise up." He sends us out to declare that to them and to love them until they can learn to love themselves again.
I pray daily that the Lord would raise up bold men and women for this social injustice. I pray that He will cause a stirring in the Church that ignites our hearts to pray, and then to act. I pray that my sisters in bondage will be restored and healed to show the unending power of Christ's love. I pray that He would be glorified in our heart's cry for the defense and protection of our sisters still in captivity. I pray that He would grow this passion in us as we seek His will. I pray for the girls in Houston, Bryan, College Station, and Dallas--as they are surrounded by bystanders to their abuse, that they would have a hope that the Lord uses to sustain them until they are set free. I pray that the eyes of law enforcement in these cities would be opened as they see cantinas, massage parlors, motels, strip clubs, and street corners. I pray that they would have a righteous anger that leads them to act on behalf of our women and young girls. I pray that the Lord would continue to keep us poor in spirit and forever humbled by His grace that breaks our hearts, just as His is broken. I pray that my heart would never lose the desire to love my sisters and to proclaim that their time in captivity is over; that it is their time to rise up and be restored.
"Here is my servant, whom I uphold, my chosen one in whom I delight. I will put my Spirit on him, and he will bring justice to the nations. He will not shout or cry out, or raise his voice in the streets. A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out. In faithfulness, he will bring forth justice; He will not falter or be discouraged until he establishes justice on the earth." Isaiah 42:1-4.
If you'd like some help in learning how to pray intentionally for this cause, I encourage you to use IJM's Just Prayer guide.
http://www.ijm.org/sites/default/files/IJM-Just-Prayer-Devotional-2013.pdf
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
Sunday, April 7, 2013
Back to the heart of worship.
I thought a good deal about how to proceed with my blog. At this point in my fundraising, I am running behind schedule. This means I owe money that I don't have. I could easily write about my need for that money or how much "good" I will do in Africa. Truthfully, that's just not where my heart is right now. I don't want to "sell" myself or my trip for funding. I'd much rather share what God has put on my heart in hopes that someone might benefit from it, or even be encouraged by the ways God has been teaching me to seek His will. Maybe this isn't what you'd consider an economically beneficial choice, but should you choose to keep reading, I'd love nothing more than to share my heart with you. I pray that God would speak through me and He would be glorified through this process.
Nothing that we do has any impact. Let that sink in for a minute. Humbling, isn't it? We can easily get caught up in wanting to "do good" for the Lord. There is nothing wrong or bad about that desire, but I was definitely in need of a reality check. I am such a broken person. I fail, daily. Anything that I can do, all of my words of encouragement to others, are simply temporary. In 1st Corinthians, we are reminded, if I sell all I have and donate my money to the poor, but don't have love...I gain nothing. Even with faith that can move mountains, without love, I am nothing. Simply put, we have to come back to loving the Lord. It sounds so simple, but do I really seek the Lord daily? Do I really spend time in earnest prayer,waiting on the Lord to hear His voice in all I do?
It all comes down to realizing how truly broken we are. All we are is empty and temporary. But God has placed eternity in our hearts, and has bought us out of captivity with His blood. So, how do we make a difference? How can we truly make in impact in our calling? We love Him. We pray, continuously. We ask Him to reveal His heart to us. For me, that means His heart for justice. His heart for healing the broken. His heart for loving the lost and the outcast and the people who need His love the most. We have to love Him through our hardships, through our bad days, through our good days, through our days where we doubt our callings, and through our days when we doubt ourselves.
When we chase after Him with all that we have and seek Him in every waking moment; He changes our hearts. He gives us a love that pours out without any conscious effort. We start to look more like Him, our Creator. We start to see through His eyes and notice opportunities for ministry that we never thought possible. It is such a beautiful dichotomy; to be at peace and to find joy in realizing how insignificant we are, but how powerful and gracious our God is.
I pray that I would sit quietly at the feet of Jesus in silence, waiting on the Lord to move. To speak. To change me. To love others through me. I pray that I would rejoice in being called to be poor in spirit for what breaks His heart. I pray that my heart would look more like His, and that He would open my eyes to see the need for His love in this world. I pray that He will use me in Africa according to His plan, and not my own selfish desires. I pray that He will break strongholds and change hearts in people all over this world, and I pray for the boldness to ask for big things. To request of the Lord what He has put on my heart to pray for. I pray that I would be reminded at every turn, that there is power in HIS name and that He is a mighty God of healing and restoration.
Nothing that we do has any impact. Let that sink in for a minute. Humbling, isn't it? We can easily get caught up in wanting to "do good" for the Lord. There is nothing wrong or bad about that desire, but I was definitely in need of a reality check. I am such a broken person. I fail, daily. Anything that I can do, all of my words of encouragement to others, are simply temporary. In 1st Corinthians, we are reminded, if I sell all I have and donate my money to the poor, but don't have love...I gain nothing. Even with faith that can move mountains, without love, I am nothing. Simply put, we have to come back to loving the Lord. It sounds so simple, but do I really seek the Lord daily? Do I really spend time in earnest prayer,waiting on the Lord to hear His voice in all I do?
It all comes down to realizing how truly broken we are. All we are is empty and temporary. But God has placed eternity in our hearts, and has bought us out of captivity with His blood. So, how do we make a difference? How can we truly make in impact in our calling? We love Him. We pray, continuously. We ask Him to reveal His heart to us. For me, that means His heart for justice. His heart for healing the broken. His heart for loving the lost and the outcast and the people who need His love the most. We have to love Him through our hardships, through our bad days, through our good days, through our days where we doubt our callings, and through our days when we doubt ourselves.
When we chase after Him with all that we have and seek Him in every waking moment; He changes our hearts. He gives us a love that pours out without any conscious effort. We start to look more like Him, our Creator. We start to see through His eyes and notice opportunities for ministry that we never thought possible. It is such a beautiful dichotomy; to be at peace and to find joy in realizing how insignificant we are, but how powerful and gracious our God is.
I pray that I would sit quietly at the feet of Jesus in silence, waiting on the Lord to move. To speak. To change me. To love others through me. I pray that I would rejoice in being called to be poor in spirit for what breaks His heart. I pray that my heart would look more like His, and that He would open my eyes to see the need for His love in this world. I pray that He will use me in Africa according to His plan, and not my own selfish desires. I pray that He will break strongholds and change hearts in people all over this world, and I pray for the boldness to ask for big things. To request of the Lord what He has put on my heart to pray for. I pray that I would be reminded at every turn, that there is power in HIS name and that He is a mighty God of healing and restoration.
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Restless Hearts & Spinning Wheels.
It almost doesn't need to be said--but I'm going to spell this all out regardless. Africa. Leaving. Serving. My team. It's all slowly becoming more real and more definite. Every time I pray, it gets more specific.
My team members have names, stories, and lives of their own they are putting on pause to journey to another world. The dates and times are getting more specific, too. Be here at this time; we'll be training here and then flying out of there. I can almost, almost see it. My feet will be on African soil in no time at all. And for all the anticipation, all the prayer, and the time spent in joy and preparation--what's next? What happens when we get there?
I only have more questions the more I think and pray...and think, and pray...
It's like I could pray for days. I want to be prepared, spiritually, to pour out to others. I want to build real relationships with members of the community. With women. With children. With widows. And orphans. And people who don't know the love of Christ. I don't think I'll be standing on any street corners proclaiming the Gospel. But I know that seeds will be planted. Lives will be changed. My heart will break for these people; and God will bring them healing. My eyes will be opened to the incredible poverty and extreme situations that are commonplace in these countries, and I'll be frustrated with the way I live my life here. There are things I'm guaranteed to experience; there are things I would never be able to hope or pray for that the Lord will show us as we spend time serving Him. Anything can happen. Anything.
My prayer is that our team would be a raging fire for the Lord. Not a dim light, not a flicker of a candle. A raging, burning fire with a passion for the Lord that stirs things up. A presence of love and humility that God will use to destroy footholds, lies, and temptations of the enemy. A team entirely devoted to prayer and community, walking in the Spirit to take every opportunity to love others and to share the hope we have in Him.
It feels like I'm getting restless--but in a way, I think I always have been. At least a small part of me has always known that a quiet, comfortable life just doesn't quite line up with my heart and passion. It's almost time to take off on this adventure, but for now, I have to remind myself that I have a purpose to serve here. Please pray with me, that I will be focused to serve whole heartedly here until it's time for me to leave.
I have raised 40% of the money I need thus far. Praise the Lord. These donations have been prayerfully given, heartfelt, and incredibly humbling. I can't help but look at the names of those who have given and be thankful for their willing hearts. My next milestone is in 2 weeks, and I need $900 by then. My prayer is that the Lord will use this for His glory. Will you join in this prayer with me? Will you pray for my team, as they also go through the various challenges of fundraising?
To give:
http://www.experiencemission.org/Display.asp?Page=donatelanding
UserID: CMOR1002
My team members have names, stories, and lives of their own they are putting on pause to journey to another world. The dates and times are getting more specific, too. Be here at this time; we'll be training here and then flying out of there. I can almost, almost see it. My feet will be on African soil in no time at all. And for all the anticipation, all the prayer, and the time spent in joy and preparation--what's next? What happens when we get there?
I only have more questions the more I think and pray...and think, and pray...
It's like I could pray for days. I want to be prepared, spiritually, to pour out to others. I want to build real relationships with members of the community. With women. With children. With widows. And orphans. And people who don't know the love of Christ. I don't think I'll be standing on any street corners proclaiming the Gospel. But I know that seeds will be planted. Lives will be changed. My heart will break for these people; and God will bring them healing. My eyes will be opened to the incredible poverty and extreme situations that are commonplace in these countries, and I'll be frustrated with the way I live my life here. There are things I'm guaranteed to experience; there are things I would never be able to hope or pray for that the Lord will show us as we spend time serving Him. Anything can happen. Anything.
My prayer is that our team would be a raging fire for the Lord. Not a dim light, not a flicker of a candle. A raging, burning fire with a passion for the Lord that stirs things up. A presence of love and humility that God will use to destroy footholds, lies, and temptations of the enemy. A team entirely devoted to prayer and community, walking in the Spirit to take every opportunity to love others and to share the hope we have in Him.
It feels like I'm getting restless--but in a way, I think I always have been. At least a small part of me has always known that a quiet, comfortable life just doesn't quite line up with my heart and passion. It's almost time to take off on this adventure, but for now, I have to remind myself that I have a purpose to serve here. Please pray with me, that I will be focused to serve whole heartedly here until it's time for me to leave.
I have raised 40% of the money I need thus far. Praise the Lord. These donations have been prayerfully given, heartfelt, and incredibly humbling. I can't help but look at the names of those who have given and be thankful for their willing hearts. My next milestone is in 2 weeks, and I need $900 by then. My prayer is that the Lord will use this for His glory. Will you join in this prayer with me? Will you pray for my team, as they also go through the various challenges of fundraising?
To give:
http://www.experiencemission.org/Display.asp?Page=donatelanding
UserID: CMOR1002
Sunday, March 3, 2013
Spoiled Brat; a change in thinking.
It’s not about the money…but…isn’t it?
Come on, Lord. $6,000 is NOTHING compared to burning bushes
and chariots of fire and angel armies appearing from heaven. I know that You
will provide, but when? A month before? A week before? The last day that money
can possibly be submitted? Wouldn’t it just be better for everyone if they
money came in…right…about…now?
Well, for His purposes; it is actually better for me that the money come in…later. I don’t know when. I don’t know how. I’m not there yet, though. Wherever I need to be in order to not feel the need for this money to come in NOW, I’ve got a ways to go before I get there. And until then, it’s me and Him. Every day. Working towards peace and joy and not holding onto this selfish impatience.
Well, for His purposes; it is actually better for me that the money come in…later. I don’t know when. I don’t know how. I’m not there yet, though. Wherever I need to be in order to not feel the need for this money to come in NOW, I’ve got a ways to go before I get there. And until then, it’s me and Him. Every day. Working towards peace and joy and not holding onto this selfish impatience.
I’ll be entirely honest with you all today. I feel like a spoiled
brat. Oh, yeah. I haven’t used that phrase in ages…but it’s exactly what I felt
like in prayer earlier. There are bigger problems in the World. Greater needs.
People that don’t have food or shoes or clothes, people who lost loved ones and
buddies, people in need of so much. And here I am, complaining because I haven’t
raised $10,000 yet.
I heard an awesome story about the Lord providing for
someone else’s trip today. My first reaction? GOD IS SO GOOD! My second? Okay, so where is my miracle? When
does my cash start rolling in? I KNOW...awful. Just awful...like I said, spoiled brat. Total mess. But, a mess
that is redeemed and loved. A work in progress. A sinner saved by grace,
through faith. I ask that you pray pray pray pray pray. Pray. Pray. Pray. Pray.
And. Pray. Please.
"I hear the Savior say, thy strength indeed is small. Child of weakness, watch and pray. Find in Me, thine all in all".
BOOM. It hit me. Find in HIM my all. My everything. In my selfish desire to have the security of money in my missions account; I am literally trying to rob God of doing a miraculous work. Isn't that what I've been PRAYING to see?! Isn't that on my heart, to see our GOD of wonders do incredible things? Isn't this exactly what I signed on for? Life with HIM is crazy. Unexpected. Doesn't make sense to the outside world. Doesn't follow a set plan, path, or timeline. THIS is what HE put on my heart to desire; an adventure. Forget the "you are beautiful" and "you're a princess" pep talks. GOD made my heart for more than this. For more than the superficial. For something new and different and just plan NUTS. That's what living for Him is all about.
Maybe instead of praying that the Lord would hurry up with bringing the money in, I should be praying that HE will use my fundraising to get people's attention. To prove without a shadow of a doubt that HE IS ALIVE AND LIVING IN ME! Can you imagine how incredible it would be to raise the whole $6,000 in a DAY, at the last minute? Can you imagine how much potential that has to show others the power and love and faithfulness of our God? He can use this ALL for His glory and to reach others...before I ever even get on the plane. I've been saying that mission work doesn't start when I get to Africa, maybe it's time I start living that out.
"I hear the Savior say, thy strength indeed is small. Child of weakness, watch and pray. Find in Me, thine all in all".
BOOM. It hit me. Find in HIM my all. My everything. In my selfish desire to have the security of money in my missions account; I am literally trying to rob God of doing a miraculous work. Isn't that what I've been PRAYING to see?! Isn't that on my heart, to see our GOD of wonders do incredible things? Isn't this exactly what I signed on for? Life with HIM is crazy. Unexpected. Doesn't make sense to the outside world. Doesn't follow a set plan, path, or timeline. THIS is what HE put on my heart to desire; an adventure. Forget the "you are beautiful" and "you're a princess" pep talks. GOD made my heart for more than this. For more than the superficial. For something new and different and just plan NUTS. That's what living for Him is all about.
Maybe instead of praying that the Lord would hurry up with bringing the money in, I should be praying that HE will use my fundraising to get people's attention. To prove without a shadow of a doubt that HE IS ALIVE AND LIVING IN ME! Can you imagine how incredible it would be to raise the whole $6,000 in a DAY, at the last minute? Can you imagine how much potential that has to show others the power and love and faithfulness of our God? He can use this ALL for His glory and to reach others...before I ever even get on the plane. I've been saying that mission work doesn't start when I get to Africa, maybe it's time I start living that out.
I’m in need of some intervention of the Divine nature.
$6,000 in 95 days..a little over $60 for every day. If you would be so kind as to share in this journey with me,
I can’t meet this goal on my own. I believe that the Lord works through
communities and the fellowship we have with each other. I am praying daily that
the Lord will provide on HIS time. Not mine. Not mine. Not mine. Yeah, I have
to repeat it. I have to get it in my head (and heart) that this is not up to me
or my impatience. I can’t just stomp my foot and get what I want, when I want
it. By HIS grace and in HIS timing, this money will come through.
Can you believe that with me?
Can you believe that with me?
Phil. 1:6 "...being confident in this, that He, who began a good work in you, will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus..."
Friday, March 1, 2013
33.3%
Hey All,
Today is a wonderful day! I am at the 1/3 mark for my funding! God is SO GOOD. I also have the opportunity to get to know my teammates! We are finally in contact via facebook and I can't tell you how excited I am to meet the people that I'll be serving the Lord with for six months. We can get to know each other and be in prayer for each other as we prepare to start our journey. With all that God has been showing me about fellowship and community recently, I am so thrilled that we can come together ahead of time and begin that process.
So, I know that my blogs tend to be about a variety of topics, and more recently, about human trafficking. On a serious note, I do actually need to raise money for my trip. I go back and forth between not worrying at all...and spazzing out entirely. I worry that maybe I'm not asking enough people, not asking the right way, or maybe everyone I know is just really struggling financially. I knew, going into this, that raising the money would be a challenge for me. Not for my God, but for me. I've prayed that God would bring the money in on HIS timing, not mine. But dang am I feeling the pressure. I am definitely feeling like I should have more at this point. I've even felt surprised or offended at the people who haven't given. That's terrible, trust me, I know. I had so many expectations going into the fundraising process--that would be mistake number one. I found myself asking God to take away the worry and the doubt about the funding, and by His grace, He did. This past couple of weeks I stopped checking, stopped looking, stopped spamming everyone with reminders that I still need money. It's such a weird feeling to ask people to help you raise almost $10,000. Even weirder to know that I don't have that much by a long shot.
I am 1/3 of the way funded. The donations I've received have been so wonderful and heartfelt, and I know that I'm covered in prayer and support. I humbly ask that you continue to pray for me and for the funding process. If you feel lead to give, please do. I still need to raise $150 more in the next week to meet the milestone requirement. And, in the big picture, I still need $6,000 in the next 97 days. I'll be honest, that number is so intimidating. Our God is always, always faithful to make things beautiful in HIS timing.
http://www.experiencemission.org/Display.asp?Page=donatelanding
UserID: CMOR1002
Today is a wonderful day! I am at the 1/3 mark for my funding! God is SO GOOD. I also have the opportunity to get to know my teammates! We are finally in contact via facebook and I can't tell you how excited I am to meet the people that I'll be serving the Lord with for six months. We can get to know each other and be in prayer for each other as we prepare to start our journey. With all that God has been showing me about fellowship and community recently, I am so thrilled that we can come together ahead of time and begin that process.
So, I know that my blogs tend to be about a variety of topics, and more recently, about human trafficking. On a serious note, I do actually need to raise money for my trip. I go back and forth between not worrying at all...and spazzing out entirely. I worry that maybe I'm not asking enough people, not asking the right way, or maybe everyone I know is just really struggling financially. I knew, going into this, that raising the money would be a challenge for me. Not for my God, but for me. I've prayed that God would bring the money in on HIS timing, not mine. But dang am I feeling the pressure. I am definitely feeling like I should have more at this point. I've even felt surprised or offended at the people who haven't given. That's terrible, trust me, I know. I had so many expectations going into the fundraising process--that would be mistake number one. I found myself asking God to take away the worry and the doubt about the funding, and by His grace, He did. This past couple of weeks I stopped checking, stopped looking, stopped spamming everyone with reminders that I still need money. It's such a weird feeling to ask people to help you raise almost $10,000. Even weirder to know that I don't have that much by a long shot.
I am 1/3 of the way funded. The donations I've received have been so wonderful and heartfelt, and I know that I'm covered in prayer and support. I humbly ask that you continue to pray for me and for the funding process. If you feel lead to give, please do. I still need to raise $150 more in the next week to meet the milestone requirement. And, in the big picture, I still need $6,000 in the next 97 days. I'll be honest, that number is so intimidating. Our God is always, always faithful to make things beautiful in HIS timing.
http://www.experiencemission.org/Display.asp?Page=donatelanding
UserID: CMOR1002
Monday, February 25, 2013
He doesn't need me.
"She has a name, she is somebody's daughter. She was made in the Image of our King...but she's a slave, held captive in chains. In Jesus' name, we have got to do something...Only YOU can set them free, but make us part of the solution"
--Donna Stuart, Part of the Solution
I was hit pretty square in the face with a humbling reminder this past weekend.
That is, God doesn't need me to go to Africa. God doesn't need me to minister. God doesn't actually need any of us to do anything. He is the all-powerful Author and Perfecter of our faith. He literally breathed our stars into being. He speaks through burning bushes, pillars of fire, and can flood the Earth with a simple thought. He does not need me to go to Africa to share His love. He can change hearts and divinely intervene in ways that I can't even imagine. But, by His grace, He uses those who are willing.
Whenever you look into the World, your society, or your neighborhood--whatever you see that breaks your heart and calls you to action; He is the solution. We are able to play a part in His story because He, by His grace, uses us. He is willing to send us out into the battle with the knowledge that He will win the victory for us.
Sounds incredible, right? The speaker last weekend (at a conference I attended) gave the example of feeling like a warrior princess. If you know me very well, you know that THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT! Warrior Princess? Fighting for Jesus? Doin' work to destroy the enemy? Yeah. That's right up my alley. That gets me pumped up to go share His love, praying for and claiming victory over the strongholds of the enemy, praising the Lord for the work He has done and will do, and feeling like a million bucks because God in His infinite grace is going to let me play a part in doing His work! Well...at least....I think He is...? He is...isn't He? He'll send me out to some great calling...right?
Oh, well. You see...here is what I learned/am learning/will continue to learn. God's calling for my life doesn't start on July 7th, and doesn't end December 21st. Doing His will is not a futuristic project to be done during a set time period. Ministry doesn't start when you break ground on a building or hand out your first Bible to someone on the street. It happens now. It's where you are today, what you do today, and how you use the time you have to glorify Him. I think we get so caught up in waiting for that one "magic thing" that will REALLY be ministry.
I was reminded that we have to serve whole-heartedly where and when we are. As in here and now. In order to do that, we have to know Him. I mean really, know Him. If you've read any of my past several posts, I'm sure you can pick up on some of the things that have really been pushing on my heart about ministry with women in sex trafficking. Do I feel like that is something God has placed on my heart? ABSOLUTELY! Do I need to run off to another country right this second to go all vigilante, rescuing women out of captivity? Well, no... though the idea may have crossed my mind!
There will be a time when I need to act on these convictions. But now, He's called me to finish school and to serve as a chaplain where I am. He's called me to go to Africa, to strip down my heart to the basics in preparation for what He has next and to share His love with those in need. So though I may be stirred and moved and passionate to act on what I believe, if I really want to be useful right now, the best thing I can do is pray. Pray, pray, pray.
The analogy given at the end of this conference was that of a flaming arrow. With God as our archer, we are meant to wait in His quiver until the time is right. Our hearts are broken; set ablaze with conviction and passion, we are pulled backwards until we can't stand the strain any longer--then, just before our breaking point, we are sent to our target to do maximum destruction to the kingdom of darkness.
So, until that time is here...I wait. Wait and pray. I pray that my desires will become His desires, and that I can be faithful in prayer for the things He's put on my heart. I pray that I seek Him above all else and that His love would pour out of my life. The things we do by our own effort are temporary; the things He does through us by His love are eternal. I am so thankful that He is teaching me and stretching my heart to make room for so much, even if that means emotions run high. Sometimes when God sends us, it's right back to our prayer closets to get on our knees and pray...and wait...and pray.
"I used to pray that God would feed the hungry, or do this and do that, but now I pray that He will guide me to do whatever I'm supposed to do, what I can do. I used to pray for answers, but now I pray for strength. I used to believe that prayer changes things, but now I know that prayer changes us and we change things." Mother Theresa
Funding Update
I have to meet my goal by March 7th. The last I checked, I was around $350 away from this goal! I will be checking the account next week to see how the Lord has moved to provide the funding. So if you feel lead to give, now is a great time. If you would join me in prayer for the funding to come through in His timing, I would be most appreciative. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
--Donna Stuart, Part of the Solution
I was hit pretty square in the face with a humbling reminder this past weekend.
That is, God doesn't need me to go to Africa. God doesn't need me to minister. God doesn't actually need any of us to do anything. He is the all-powerful Author and Perfecter of our faith. He literally breathed our stars into being. He speaks through burning bushes, pillars of fire, and can flood the Earth with a simple thought. He does not need me to go to Africa to share His love. He can change hearts and divinely intervene in ways that I can't even imagine. But, by His grace, He uses those who are willing.
Whenever you look into the World, your society, or your neighborhood--whatever you see that breaks your heart and calls you to action; He is the solution. We are able to play a part in His story because He, by His grace, uses us. He is willing to send us out into the battle with the knowledge that He will win the victory for us.
Sounds incredible, right? The speaker last weekend (at a conference I attended) gave the example of feeling like a warrior princess. If you know me very well, you know that THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT! Warrior Princess? Fighting for Jesus? Doin' work to destroy the enemy? Yeah. That's right up my alley. That gets me pumped up to go share His love, praying for and claiming victory over the strongholds of the enemy, praising the Lord for the work He has done and will do, and feeling like a million bucks because God in His infinite grace is going to let me play a part in doing His work! Well...at least....I think He is...? He is...isn't He? He'll send me out to some great calling...right?
Oh, well. You see...here is what I learned/am learning/will continue to learn. God's calling for my life doesn't start on July 7th, and doesn't end December 21st. Doing His will is not a futuristic project to be done during a set time period. Ministry doesn't start when you break ground on a building or hand out your first Bible to someone on the street. It happens now. It's where you are today, what you do today, and how you use the time you have to glorify Him. I think we get so caught up in waiting for that one "magic thing" that will REALLY be ministry.
I was reminded that we have to serve whole-heartedly where and when we are. As in here and now. In order to do that, we have to know Him. I mean really, know Him. If you've read any of my past several posts, I'm sure you can pick up on some of the things that have really been pushing on my heart about ministry with women in sex trafficking. Do I feel like that is something God has placed on my heart? ABSOLUTELY! Do I need to run off to another country right this second to go all vigilante, rescuing women out of captivity? Well, no... though the idea may have crossed my mind!
There will be a time when I need to act on these convictions. But now, He's called me to finish school and to serve as a chaplain where I am. He's called me to go to Africa, to strip down my heart to the basics in preparation for what He has next and to share His love with those in need. So though I may be stirred and moved and passionate to act on what I believe, if I really want to be useful right now, the best thing I can do is pray. Pray, pray, pray.
The analogy given at the end of this conference was that of a flaming arrow. With God as our archer, we are meant to wait in His quiver until the time is right. Our hearts are broken; set ablaze with conviction and passion, we are pulled backwards until we can't stand the strain any longer--then, just before our breaking point, we are sent to our target to do maximum destruction to the kingdom of darkness.
So, until that time is here...I wait. Wait and pray. I pray that my desires will become His desires, and that I can be faithful in prayer for the things He's put on my heart. I pray that I seek Him above all else and that His love would pour out of my life. The things we do by our own effort are temporary; the things He does through us by His love are eternal. I am so thankful that He is teaching me and stretching my heart to make room for so much, even if that means emotions run high. Sometimes when God sends us, it's right back to our prayer closets to get on our knees and pray...and wait...and pray.
"I used to pray that God would feed the hungry, or do this and do that, but now I pray that He will guide me to do whatever I'm supposed to do, what I can do. I used to pray for answers, but now I pray for strength. I used to believe that prayer changes things, but now I know that prayer changes us and we change things." Mother Theresa
Funding Update
I have to meet my goal by March 7th. The last I checked, I was around $350 away from this goal! I will be checking the account next week to see how the Lord has moved to provide the funding. So if you feel lead to give, now is a great time. If you would join me in prayer for the funding to come through in His timing, I would be most appreciative. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
I can't get over it...
Tonight,
My heart is so heavy. So full. After all the highs and lows of a busy week (or half a week, really) I am fairly exhausted. Not in a physical sense. The great and attention-grabbing things God has put on my heart are most welcome. But wow. Are they persistent. I'd consider my life, in the general sense, pretty messed up.
I mean that in the best possible way, and in an excited way. I am thrilled that God has a plan for my life to give me a hope and a future, even if that future is different than what I wanted a year ago. Which--by the way, it is. I'm going to try to write this post in "real talk" rather than "Church talk". So bear with me.
Imagine, you are raised in a small town. Your family barely gets by and your mom is expecting another child. Sure, you might be a young girl, but you've heard of girls traveling to big cities for jobs that pay well. You may even see some of the other families are able to afford things like phones and real furniture. A man visiting from the nearest city tells of some job openings, available to girls. No training required. Your mother and father insist that you go take one of these jobs, so that you can send the money back home to support your family. You want to give them all you can and be a faithful, honorable daughter. So, you gladly agree to travel to the city to be a waitress or a server in a bar. You figure that you will be a good daughter if you can get enough money to help out the family. But when you get to the city, something very different happens. Something is wrong. Strange men come to evaluate your appearance. They look at your body. Your hair. Your teeth. They beat you and abuse you until you can barely think strait. Maybe they drug you, maybe they feed you. Maybe it just depends on the trafficker. Once you've been properly broken [in], you are sold, used, used again, broken, sold, used, used again, and broken...so on and so on. You're kept alive, but barely. Maybe your family is getting money, maybe not. The only thing you know for sure is that you are owned. You do what you're told and keep quiet; maybe they won't hit you as hard. Maybe they'll be nicer. Maybe someone else will buy you and treat you better. As long as you stop feeling, caring, thinking, and hoping...you can shut the world out and numb yourself to the pain. Or at least you try to. Until...until what? What do you wait for? Why bother with emotion or thoughts of the outside world? Maybe this is normal. Maybe this is love. Doesn't every girl go through this? This must be all there is.
Now, let's try a slightly different scenario. Let's say you're raised in Houston. Or Atlanta. Or Miami. You know, one of the bigger cities in this area of our world. In this land of "freedom". Your dad is long gone, and mom barely feeds you and your brother with the welfare check that comes every month or so. You're only twelve, but hey--you've lived a lot for a girl your age. Some of your friends sell drugs to bring in money for rent. Most of them don't go to school anymore, there's really no point. It's not like any of you will get into college, but maybe you can finish high school someday. Maybe once mom can kick her habit for good and get a job. But until then, you know you have a responsibility as the oldest sibling to try to make some money. One day, a nicely dressed older gentleman--maybe 30--offers to get you a good meal. You do look a little thin. Money's been tight and you don't eat as much as you should. You agree to the strangers kindness and decide that you can smile enough to show appreciation for the meal. He tells you he's got money. So much money, he doesn't know what to do with it all. He even shows you his wallet; that's the most money you've ever seen at one time. Wow. He must really know what he's doing. He tells you that if you're nice enough to him, he'll share his money with you...but sometimes, you'll need to be nice to his friends too. It seems a little strange to you, but the thought of your baby brother starving at home is motivation enough for you to consider. Six months later, you've slept with more clients than you can keep track of. You're addicted to some drug that your pimp uses to keep you coming back to him. You haven't seen your family in months, and you don't know where you are. All the nights you've spent laying down in the back of a van, travelling hotel to hotel. Meeting man after man with his list of demands and preferences. But hey, you're good at it. And your pimp is more of a father than your real one anyways. At least he keeps you doped up enough so you don't have to feel the pain. It's all you know, so you embrace your broken and crushed spirit. You claim that incredible pain as your identity, and never question it. You end up in some small town called Bryan. You don't know where that is, but this place isn't unlike any other. There is nothing special about this town.
I wish with all my heart that these types of scenarios were uncommon. We like to think of human trafficking in the sense of the first story; as happening in a small town in another country. YES. It absolutely does happen there. It is a real problem in so many countries, but YES it is a problem in our own. It happens in Bryan. Miles from where I'm sitting--right now. There are broken girls that are used, transported, and sold while we sit in our classes and go to our meetings. Oh, how my heart breaks to think about this. I get so angry and frustrated that my hands shake and I feel like I can't breathe. Fifty. Thousand. College. Students. The HUGE Christian bubble that is Texas A&M; and many of us...just...sit. We sit. We remain unaware. Unmoved. Inactive. Where are we? What are we doing?
I just want to hold these girls and pray for them until I run out of words. I want to beg them to listen to what God can do in their hearts. I want God to miraculously open their minds to hope again. I want their pimps and traffickers to rot in jail for what they've done; but I want healing for their hearts, too. I want to sit with them as they wrestle with the pain they've experienced, I want to dry their tears and tell them how beautiful and loved they are to me and to our Savior. I want them to know the most incredible love I've ever experienced and to feel the healing that is unlike any other from a Savior that died and rose again to fight for them. To love them. To win their hearts. To bring them out of captivity. I want them to know that God wants to claim them as His daughter, redeemed and made whole through His love.
I pray that these desires will align with what He wants for me, not what I want for me. I pray that awareness will continue to grow and that these girls will be covered in prayer by men and women of incredible faith. I pray that they hold on. Just hold on, a little bit longer. Somewhere...somewhere there is hope. God will move. God will heal. God will save and rescue. I ask you to join me in prayer for these girls. Maybe there's a specific place or situation on your heart. Maybe you don't know where to start. But I ask that you pray for these women and girls, and that we would be aware of the closeness of this problem. Pray that those called to action would rise up to fight with the Lord to bring justice. Pray that the hearts of these women will be receptive to any and all ways that God is going to reveal Himself to them.
2 Cor. 3:17 "Now the Spirit is the Lord, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom"
Psalm 34:18 "The Lord is near to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit"
My heart is so heavy. So full. After all the highs and lows of a busy week (or half a week, really) I am fairly exhausted. Not in a physical sense. The great and attention-grabbing things God has put on my heart are most welcome. But wow. Are they persistent. I'd consider my life, in the general sense, pretty messed up.
I mean that in the best possible way, and in an excited way. I am thrilled that God has a plan for my life to give me a hope and a future, even if that future is different than what I wanted a year ago. Which--by the way, it is. I'm going to try to write this post in "real talk" rather than "Church talk". So bear with me.
Imagine, you are raised in a small town. Your family barely gets by and your mom is expecting another child. Sure, you might be a young girl, but you've heard of girls traveling to big cities for jobs that pay well. You may even see some of the other families are able to afford things like phones and real furniture. A man visiting from the nearest city tells of some job openings, available to girls. No training required. Your mother and father insist that you go take one of these jobs, so that you can send the money back home to support your family. You want to give them all you can and be a faithful, honorable daughter. So, you gladly agree to travel to the city to be a waitress or a server in a bar. You figure that you will be a good daughter if you can get enough money to help out the family. But when you get to the city, something very different happens. Something is wrong. Strange men come to evaluate your appearance. They look at your body. Your hair. Your teeth. They beat you and abuse you until you can barely think strait. Maybe they drug you, maybe they feed you. Maybe it just depends on the trafficker. Once you've been properly broken [in], you are sold, used, used again, broken, sold, used, used again, and broken...so on and so on. You're kept alive, but barely. Maybe your family is getting money, maybe not. The only thing you know for sure is that you are owned. You do what you're told and keep quiet; maybe they won't hit you as hard. Maybe they'll be nicer. Maybe someone else will buy you and treat you better. As long as you stop feeling, caring, thinking, and hoping...you can shut the world out and numb yourself to the pain. Or at least you try to. Until...until what? What do you wait for? Why bother with emotion or thoughts of the outside world? Maybe this is normal. Maybe this is love. Doesn't every girl go through this? This must be all there is.
Now, let's try a slightly different scenario. Let's say you're raised in Houston. Or Atlanta. Or Miami. You know, one of the bigger cities in this area of our world. In this land of "freedom". Your dad is long gone, and mom barely feeds you and your brother with the welfare check that comes every month or so. You're only twelve, but hey--you've lived a lot for a girl your age. Some of your friends sell drugs to bring in money for rent. Most of them don't go to school anymore, there's really no point. It's not like any of you will get into college, but maybe you can finish high school someday. Maybe once mom can kick her habit for good and get a job. But until then, you know you have a responsibility as the oldest sibling to try to make some money. One day, a nicely dressed older gentleman--maybe 30--offers to get you a good meal. You do look a little thin. Money's been tight and you don't eat as much as you should. You agree to the strangers kindness and decide that you can smile enough to show appreciation for the meal. He tells you he's got money. So much money, he doesn't know what to do with it all. He even shows you his wallet; that's the most money you've ever seen at one time. Wow. He must really know what he's doing. He tells you that if you're nice enough to him, he'll share his money with you...but sometimes, you'll need to be nice to his friends too. It seems a little strange to you, but the thought of your baby brother starving at home is motivation enough for you to consider. Six months later, you've slept with more clients than you can keep track of. You're addicted to some drug that your pimp uses to keep you coming back to him. You haven't seen your family in months, and you don't know where you are. All the nights you've spent laying down in the back of a van, travelling hotel to hotel. Meeting man after man with his list of demands and preferences. But hey, you're good at it. And your pimp is more of a father than your real one anyways. At least he keeps you doped up enough so you don't have to feel the pain. It's all you know, so you embrace your broken and crushed spirit. You claim that incredible pain as your identity, and never question it. You end up in some small town called Bryan. You don't know where that is, but this place isn't unlike any other. There is nothing special about this town.
I wish with all my heart that these types of scenarios were uncommon. We like to think of human trafficking in the sense of the first story; as happening in a small town in another country. YES. It absolutely does happen there. It is a real problem in so many countries, but YES it is a problem in our own. It happens in Bryan. Miles from where I'm sitting--right now. There are broken girls that are used, transported, and sold while we sit in our classes and go to our meetings. Oh, how my heart breaks to think about this. I get so angry and frustrated that my hands shake and I feel like I can't breathe. Fifty. Thousand. College. Students. The HUGE Christian bubble that is Texas A&M; and many of us...just...sit. We sit. We remain unaware. Unmoved. Inactive. Where are we? What are we doing?
I just want to hold these girls and pray for them until I run out of words. I want to beg them to listen to what God can do in their hearts. I want God to miraculously open their minds to hope again. I want their pimps and traffickers to rot in jail for what they've done; but I want healing for their hearts, too. I want to sit with them as they wrestle with the pain they've experienced, I want to dry their tears and tell them how beautiful and loved they are to me and to our Savior. I want them to know the most incredible love I've ever experienced and to feel the healing that is unlike any other from a Savior that died and rose again to fight for them. To love them. To win their hearts. To bring them out of captivity. I want them to know that God wants to claim them as His daughter, redeemed and made whole through His love.
I pray that these desires will align with what He wants for me, not what I want for me. I pray that awareness will continue to grow and that these girls will be covered in prayer by men and women of incredible faith. I pray that they hold on. Just hold on, a little bit longer. Somewhere...somewhere there is hope. God will move. God will heal. God will save and rescue. I ask you to join me in prayer for these girls. Maybe there's a specific place or situation on your heart. Maybe you don't know where to start. But I ask that you pray for these women and girls, and that we would be aware of the closeness of this problem. Pray that those called to action would rise up to fight with the Lord to bring justice. Pray that the hearts of these women will be receptive to any and all ways that God is going to reveal Himself to them.
2 Cor. 3:17 "Now the Spirit is the Lord, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom"
Psalm 34:18 "The Lord is near to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit"
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